


On a Stranger's Door Step

by oncetherelivedaboy



Series: On A Strangers Doorstep [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angie dresses like Jessica Jones and keeps Peggy from killing someone or getting herself killed, EMT Laurens, Eliza is Frances' teacher, Freelance Journalist Alex, Hercules is a tailor, Lafayette's a stripper because he's awesome, M/M, PI's Angie and Peggy, Pining, Trans Alex, as in Peggy hits people while wearing Floral dresses, dear lord so much pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-05-24 01:54:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 33,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6137260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oncetherelivedaboy/pseuds/oncetherelivedaboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When John's daughter ends up with a high fever in the middle of a snow storm he ends up on the door step of a stranger begging for help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. On A Stranger's Door Step

**Author's Note:**

> Have a request or question? Drop an ask at oncetherelivedaboy.tumblr.com

The power was out, the power had been out for a while but the cold was just starting to creep into the apartment, and John’s phone had no signal, the storm must have knocked something out. Frances was sobbing into his chest, her feverish forehead against his neck as he sat on the floor of the bathroom, she’d thrown up 3 times since the power had gone out. John wasn’t sure why she was crying, it could have been because of the cold, could have been that she was sick, could have been that she hated the dark and that the bathroom was nearly pitch black, it was the only thing she was afraid of, and had to sleep with a little turtle nightlight plugged in beside her bed, only John had no flashlights and he mentally kicked himself for not being more prepared. He had however, brought the small battery powered radio with him and set it on the counter, listening as the man talked, the roads were closed, and he was advising everyone to stay put, keep warm in their homes.

Only John had no idea what to do when his 3 year old daughter had a fever of nearly 105, he’d told himself they’d stay put, safe in house with the medicine they had, as long as she didn’t get worse. Things of course got worse, she started convulsing in his arms, shaking uncontrollably as she sobbed and called out to him. Each cry felt like a knife, somehow he managed to keep the panic rising in his chest from boiling over. He couldn’t freak out in front of Frances, it would just scare her more, so he took a deep breath and when the fit subsided he stood with her in his arms and practically ran to the closet, pulling out her little green coat and bundling it up over her thin nightgown as a hat and fuzzy socks. Her curly hair sticky with cold sweat. He pulled his own coat on, wrapping it over her as he buttoned it and held her to his chest. The hospital was nearly 8 miles away, and the streets were closed, but dammit he wasn’t going to sit around while Frances got sicker, he needed to get her somewhere with power.

He’d never been more scared in his life than he was now, not even when he’d been a 20 year old emt with barely enough money to feed himself and two service workers showed on his doorstep, and dropped a tiny bundle of blankets and paperwork in his arms and left him holding Frances. The woman had been a one stand in some vain attempt to prove something to himself, it had failed and he’d snuck home before she woke up and collapsed against his door in a fit of broken sobs.

He was out the door within seconds of shoving his keys in his pockets. He hadn’t bothered to lock the door as he took off down the sidewalk, the snow blinding as he ran. All that mattered was getting her someplace where she would be safe. She had quieted a bit since the cold air had hit her face but now she was coughing again the same wet cough that came before…. John unbuttoned his coat and ran towards the street, as she threw up the crackers he’d gotten her to eat less than 30 minutes earlier. She was crying again and John gathered her back into his arms.

“It’s ok sweetheart. It’s going to be ok.” She wiped her face on the t-shirt he was wearing under the coat, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. A shirt was a shirt.

“Hurts daddy.” She whimpered, and John’s heart broke.

“I’m sorry sweetheart.” He dropped a kiss to her head as he broke back into a run. Three blocks later, and there was a home with lights on and he practically vaulted the parked cars on the side of the street as he raced to get across. His fists hit the door hard, and he was practically screaming.

“Help! Please, I need help.” There was the sound of hurried footsteps and then a very disheveled man with dark hair pulled into what Laurens would later classify as the messiest ponytail he’d ever seen. “She’s got a fever of 105, please I need help.” He practically begged and the man ushered them inside to the warmth of his home.

“Follow me.” The man led them back to a bathroom and he flipped on the shower, as John started to pull her coat off.

“There’s a stool in the hall closet, go get it.” The man said, it took John just a second but when he returned Frances was convulsing again and the man picked her up gingerly and stepped under the spray of water, he sat down, stroking Frances hair back as the fit calmed considerably more quickly than it had before, she was facing him and she threw up again, ruining the button down shirt he’d been wearing.

“I’m sorry.” She sobbed, still hiccupping.

“It’s alright cheri, it’s alright.” He murmured, and then noticing John carefully stood, using one arm to support the frail girl and the other to take the stool and set it in the bathtub so that Frances could sit on it. The man stepped out of the tub and started to unbutton the ruined shirt.

“I’ll pay for a replacement.” John quickly added, as he knelt down.The man waved the offer away and dropped the shirt in the sink, leaving him in a tank top.  

“It’s fine, my friend’s a tailor, I get them free.” John had a hand on Frances’ back and nearly flinched when he felt the water, it was ice cold.

“What are you doing! Why is the water freezing!” He nearly roared, and the man took a step back as John quickly turned the dials up to a warmer temperature and pulled Frances up so that she was sitting on the edge of the tub and wasn’t directly under the cold water. Her tiny frame shaking against him.

“We have to get her fever down.”

“You don’t use ice cold water! It can be cool or lukewarm but not freezing. You’ll send her into shock.”  

“I’m sorry.” The man kept his voice level. “I just....”

“I don’t care!” John snapped. He dipped his fingers under the shower, it was warm enough that he felt safe easing her back into the tub. John took a deep breath after several long moments of rubbing circles on her back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have expected you to know. You were kind enough to help at all, and I’m sorry for shouting.” 

“I was in the wrong here, you totally deserve to yell at me.” The man looked down at the girl in her soaking nightgown and the still slightly panicking father. 

“It's alright sweetheart, I’ve got you.” He said placing a kiss on her forehead, before turning to the man. “Do you have a thermometer?” He nodded and opened the medicine cabinet above his sink and passed it to him. 

“I’ll go get the bedroom set up and get you both some clothes.” 

“You really don’t have to. If I could just borrow a phone I can call someone.”

“I am not sending you back out into the storm, I have no problem letting you stay here.” He starts out the door before John can say anything else, and then pops his head back in. “I’m Alexander by the way.”

“Laurens, um sorry. John Laurens, and this is Frances.” He says, looking down at the girl. 

“I’ll be back in a minute.” He disappears. .John pulled his shirt and shoes off when Frances started to squirm under the water, she didn’t like water on her face not even when John would use a cup to rinse the soap from her hair when she took a bath, and stepped in so that she could curl up on his chest while the water hit her back. 

Alex came back about 15 minutes after he’d initially left, in a clean pair of sweatpants and t-shirt as well extra clothes for John and a t-shirt for Frances to use as a nightgown.

“I’m shorter than you but they’re basketball shorts, so..” He stopped as he noticed John had climbed in the tub.

“I’ll get her some orange juice, and crackers.” It took only moments before he returned with 2 to-go coffee cups with a straw sticking out of the lid of one, and sleeve of crackers.

“I brought you coffee.” He said setting both on the edge of the tub, and peeling open the crackers. John held the one with the straw up to Frances and she drank it slowly and Alex passed her a cracker, instructing her to take little bites. John and Alex sat mostly in silence once Frances fell asleep. 

It wasn’t long until the fever finally broke. They checked her temperature every 15 minutes, and when it finally got below 100 they both let out a sigh of relief and Alex went to collect a towel and stood outside the door until John had gotten her out of the soaking nightgown and into a t-shirt, and Alex took her gingerly in his arms.

“I’ll go put her to bed, you get changed.” John hesitated for a moment, terrified to let her out of sight for even a moment after the events of the night but reluctantly passed her to him. The door slid shut and he got dressed in Alex’s spare clothes. He found the bedroom easily enough and Alex had made a barrier of pillows along the edge of the bed to keep Frances from rolling off the bed, and she was lying with her head on one of the pillows and blanket wrapped around her shoulders, Alexander plugging a little night light into the wall. He smiled at John when he noticed him standing there.

“You want a drink or something?” He said stepping out the bedroom. “You don’t seem like the kind of guy to get much sleep after this kind of thing and I tend to find whiskey a great sleeping aid.”

“Yeah, that’d be nice.”

“Alright Laurens, follow me.” He led him to the living room where a pillow was set on the couch and a blanket draped over the side, and gestured toward a chair. John fell into it, as Alex poured them drinks, pushing a drink into his hands. John looked down at it.

“Haven’t had one of these since before….” He trailed off. “Thank you, I don’t know if I ever said it, so thank you.” He’s staring down at the liquid and then throws his head back to down it in a gulp.

“Where’s her mother?” Alex asks and John tenses up.

“I don’t know.”

“Did she just pack up and leave or..”

“I didn’t really know her. It was a one night stand to, to.” He struggled with the words, but managed to find them. “As a way to try to prove something to myself.”

“What do you mean?” Alex pressed, pouring more into John’s glass, before dropping onto the couch across from him.

“I should go to bed, I’m sorry.” He said, swallowing what had just been poured into the glass and standing.

“Alright, good night Laurens.”

“Night Alex.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betcha didn't know that before Hamilton decided on law he wanted to be a doctor, its in the biography. Also, this is kind of my announcement of maybe going awol for the next couple of weeks, though I really don't know for sure. Anyway hope you enjoyed.  
> Comments are literally the only thing I love in this world more than coffee.
> 
>  
> 
> **Changes have been made to correct previous errors!!! all credit for identifying and bringing said errors to my awareness goes to user Heleentje, who has alot more knowledge on this subject than I do.


	2. The Following Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John wakes up with his daughter on his chest in a bed that definitely isn't his own.

The bed was entirely too soft, that was the first thought in John’s mind that morning. The second was that Frances was asleep across his chest, her breath warm against his neck, and her tiny hands balled into little fists in his shirt, she’d kicked the covers down, leaving him shivering slightly. It took him a moment to recall the events from the night before, and he tightened his grip of Frances slightly and kissed her forehead, still a little warm but not even close to as bad as it had been. The panic had settled considerably, but it was still there, lurking in the back of his mind. He rolled her gently off him, careful not to wake her up and pulled the covers up around her. When he  opened the door he found Alexander halfway down the hallway holding two cups of coffee, he gave him a soft smile and Alex’s face broke into a wide grin.

“How’s she feeling?”

“Still has a fever, but its low, she’s asleep right now.” Alex holds out the coffee to him and he takes it.

“My ex left some clothes here but you look about the same size. I’ll grab it so you can take a shower.”

“I can just wait till we get home.”

“Where do you live?”

“6 or 7 blocks north of here.” Alex shook his head.

“Power's still out there, and here for that matter. My building’s got its own generator.” He gulps down the last his coffee and pushes the door to the bedroom open slightly, John watches as he disappears into the closet and then comes back out holding a stack of clothes. “Here you are.” He hands them to John as well as a towel. “I’ll get breakfast started.” He was just about down the hallway when he stuck his head back down. “You know, it's quite nice having company, and while the circumstances for your being here weren’t ideal, it's still nice not being here by myself.”

* * *

 

Alex returns to the kitchen, taking his empty coffee cup with him and filling it up before searching his cabinets for ingredients, while he would loved to make pancakes, he was lacking mix, he did however have things for french toast and there was bacon in the refrigerator, so taking a gulp of black coffee, he set to work. He didn’t think much of what he was doing, the batter recipe had been one his mother had taught him before she’d died and it was all instinctual for him to make. Instead he let his mind drift to the man who’d looked on the verge of tears the night before, standing on his doorstep. He had skin the color of honey, his freckles like cinnamon that had been sprinkled over his face and shoulders, and an unrelenting force about him when it came to the little girl. When Alex had set down his work for a few hours of sleep after the storm had started the last thing he had been expected was to be awoken to a loud pounding on his door and a man screaming for help with a sobbing girl in his arms. At first he’d thought she was hurt, that there had been a car accident or she’d fallen off of something, and he’d been nearly as scared as John, he’d panicked and did something stupid.  

He didn’t notice John had come into the kitchen until he’d stood next to him.

“French toast?” He’d asked and Alex had nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Yeah.” John had changed into the skinny jeans and gray v-neck, exposing even more freckles sprinkled across his chest, sure John had been shirtless that night before sitting in his bathtub but he’d had other things on his mind at the time, but holy shit this guy was going to give him a heart attack, he was literally perfect, too bad he was straight. God, he was rebounding hard, Troup had left him a little over a month ago and the full force of the breakup hadn’t hit him until a week ago.

“Alexander? The french toast is burning.” He turned back to the pan, sliding the pieces onto a plate. There was a shrill cry and then John had disappeared, Alexander flipped off the stove and followed him to the bedroom.

John had the girl in his arms, and she had hers firmly around his neck, giggling as he blew raspberries onto her cheeks.

“You feeling better sweetie?” John asked her, and she quickly nodded.

“Does anything hurt?”

“My tummy.”

“Like you’re going to throw up?” She shook her head again quickly.

“Like I’m hungry.”

“Alexander made french toast.”

“Who’s Alexander?” She pronounced it like ‘Alex wan der’ and Alex chuckled a bit.

“That’s Alex.” John told her pointing at him standing in the doorway, he gve her a small wave and she let go of her father to wriggle off the bed and run over to him, holding her arms up in the universal symbol of wanting to be picked up. Alex cast a glance at John who gave him a short nod before gently picking the girl up.

“You called me a cherry!” She exclaimed excitedly and wrapped her small arms around his neck.

“Actually, I called you Cheri. It’s french.”

“Daddy knows french.” She said, using one hand to point at John. “But he doesn’t call me a cherry.”

“What does he call you?”

“My petty.”

“She means ‘Ma Petite.’” John said as he crossed the room and she eagerly changed hands, curling up in his arm her head on his shoulder. “Isn’t that right Frances, you’re ‘my little one’.” She nodded, a huge smile on her face.

“Did you want some breakfast?” Alex asked her and she smiled, nodding quickly. She cupped her hand around John’s ear and whispered loudly, though Alex couldn’t pick up what she was saying.

“We’ll be in there in just a moment.” John said as they entered the hallway, Alex to the kitchen and John crossed the hall to the bathroom.

Breakfast is anything but quiet, Frances still has a low fever but she talks a mile a minute, it's mostly nonsense about John.

“Daddy’s an EMT. That means he helps people.” She says, as John cuts her french toast sticks into smaller pieces she can stab with her fork.

“How old are you? Alex asks her. and she holds up three fingers. “And daddy’s twenty-three, he’s old.” Alex nearly chokes on his coffee, John looks up at him but doesn’t say anything as he coughs. “Are you ok? Does daddy need to save you.” She turns to John and grabs his sleeve, tugging slightly. “Daddy, save Alex wan der.”

“Alex is fine sweetheart, eat your breakfast.” She huffs a bit but settles down and takes a drink of her juice.

* * *

 

John and Frances leave shortly after breakfast, Frances bundled up in her coat again and under John’s, curling up in his arms. The outages had been taken care of and John wanted to get her home before a another storm hit.

“If you ever need anything, you know where to find me.” Alex had added as they headed out the door and John gave him a short wave, while Frances gave him a wild arcing one above her head and nearly hitting John in the nose.

“Bye Alex!” She shouted and then John turned back down the sidewalk, headed home. Alex doesn’t think he’s ever felt this way about someone leaving. And he only realizes after they’ve disappeared that he never got a phone number or address.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have the outline for that hercules/lafayette fic I promised in the "going through the unimaginable" universe finished I just haven't had found time to start the first chapter or to write the next chapter in "I may not live to see your glory" but I definitely found time for this. I hope you liked this. As stated last chapter: comments are my favorite and if you leave me one I'll probably show up at your house with milk and cookies.*
> 
> *visit and food not guaranteed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this one doesn't have a chapter name, but I have one for the next chapter, so don't judge it on just that.

It had been nearly a week since Laurens had showed up on his doorstep, and Alexander had been sulking since the afternoon they left. He’d found Frances’ hat halfway under his bed and had smiled a bit, because this gave him a legitimate reason to call, only to grab his phone and have no recollection of ever asking a phone number. He’d practically hurled the device across the room in frustration, and had dropped it back onto his nightstand and set to work putting clean sheets on the bed. He had 3 articles due that evening, so he’d set to work shortly after and had barely stopped since then. In the week, he’d managed to catch up on all work of his work, start and finish 4 new projects and was 2 weeks ahead of schedule on his blog cache.

He slept at odd hours, never actually getting more than three or four consecutive hours, luckily freelance journalism didn’t require a quick schedule so long as he got projects done efficiently and submitted them before deadlines. He had a few steady gigs with a few companies that paid consistently so long as he did. He drowned himself in work to avoid thinking about Troup, let alone John. 

His phone buzzed angrily on his nightstand and he pulled himself up to look at the caller ID, Angie, she was a private investigator who took her job a little too seriously, and by ‘took her job seriously’ he meant that she dressed like Jessica Jones. He groaned and shoved his head back down into the pillow, she’d been bugging him about coming with her on jobs. “Expose the truth!” She’d say, and yes he was all about telling the world, however the world had never much cared about unfaithful husbands. Sometimes people payed her to rough someone up, she’d said she didn’t much enjoy it but her partner in ‘anti-crime’ as she’d put it, Peggy, liked getting her hands dirty a little too much and Alex had heard Angie’s stories about having to bail her out of jail on more than one occasion. Where Angie looked like a proper PI, Peggy wore floral print dresses with her hair braided with little flowers, they were quite the duo. Alex knew Angie from college, and she’d saved his ass on more than one occasion but that didn’t mean he wanted to get caught up in another job. The doorbell rang and he groaned again. He got up, pulling a jacket on over his shirt and shoved a notepad and pen into his pocket along with his phone, grumbling openly as he found his keys.

Peggy was probably standing out there, tapping her foot impatiently with Angie halfway across the city. Peggy somehow always managed to show up at his house minutes after he ignored a call from Angie. He grabbed a granola bar from the kitchen as well as a bottle of water. He headed towards the front door, and realizing he’d forgotten to grab his wallet went back into the living room to retrieve it. When he finally made it to the door, he’d already half composed a monologue planned for Peggy to have to sit through on their way to wherever Angie was. Only when he opened it he found Laurens standing there, and suddenly felt very silly, what with the granola bar half sticking out of his mouth. 

“Hi.” He said stupidly, once he’d swallowed what had been left in his mouth and shoving the rest into his pocket. 

“I was just bringing you over a new shirt and some cookies Frances’ and I made.” He held up a small bag, and passed it to him. “She also made you a ‘scarf’.” He’d put air quotes around the word. “I think it’s just string she glued together, but I told her I’d give it you. She drew you a picture too.” Alex glanced in the bag. “I’m sorry if there’s somewhere you need to be. I just thought I’d replace the shirt.”

“I told you my friend was a tailor.” Alex said, still a little shocked that John freaking Laurens was back on his doorstep. He shrugged. 

“I’ll go, you look like you have somewhere you need to be.” John had turned back and was started down the stairs.

“Wait!” He grabbed John by the elbow. “You left Frances’ hat.” He said quickly and pulled his door back open. “I’ll go get it, just give me one minute.” John nodded and Alex raced back into the house, finding the hat on the coffee table, replacing it with the bag of gifts, and returning to John.

“Thanks.” He said, shoving into his coat pocket. “I’ve got to head home before the babysitter gets pissed.” He’d gone back down the steps and it took Alex a moment to realize he’d gotten a second chance, and that a third most likely wouldn’t present itself. He quickly locked his door and chased after John. Who seemed slightly startled when Alex came running up next to him.

“Sorry, um, could I get your number?” He isn’t sure if the pink on John’s cheeks is from the cold, or if he’s blushing, but god, this boy will be the death of him. He was just too cute. 

“Yeah, do you have your phone with you?” Alex pulled it from his pocket, at that exact moment Angie decided to call again.

“Do you need to…” 

“No, she’s fine.” He dismissed the call and handed it to John who punched the number into his phone. He was slightly worried that he might have given him a fake number until he handed the phone back and Alex saw he’d sent a text to the number and pulled out his own phone and punched in his contact information. 

“Do you want to come over for dinner?” John suddenly asked, pushing a piece of the curly brown hair out of his face.

“I..”, His phone buzzed again in his hand and he cursed. “Sorry, I know I said this was nothing but she doesn’t normally call me this much unless it’s urgent.” John’s face fell a bit and shit, shit, shit, Alex had it bad, and if Alex could help it he’d never let that face look sad again.

“What about Friday?” Alex added quickly, and the man visibly perked back up. 

“I work Friday night, Saturday?” Alex nodded.

“Saturday’s perfect.” 

“Ok, I’ll see you there. I’ll text you my address.” When he turned around and headed back down the street Alex pulled his phone out and answered the call from Angie, already catching sight of the floral dress and knit sweater of Peggy sprinting down the sidewalk towards him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Alex's point of view is a little bit different and I'm not really sure I like how it feels, but give it up for PIs Angelica and Peggy. Hope you liked it! Comments and Kudos always welcome and highly appreciated!


	4. Dinner at the Laurens'

Work had been the last thing on his mind. The last five days been nothing but a nearly burning anticipation. Saturday couldn’t have taken a longer time to arrive, and he’d actually gone to bed before 1 the night before, so that the time went by faster, but it was Saturday now and he’d decided he was going to make a dessert to bring with him to dinner, this had ended with him covered in flour. When it was finally finished cooking he went to take a shower, and laughed openly at his own reflection, the flour in his hair made it look like he was going gray.

He spent an hour scouring his closet for something to wear, throwing shirts onto his bed, by the time he finally settled on a dark purple button down his bedroom looked like a warzone and he quickly put everything back in his closet. He and John had been texting back and forth, not a whole lot, just a few little informational things, John’s address, and Alex telling him he was going to bring the desert. He hadn’t thought to ask John what he was making, the food wasn’t the reason he was going. John hadn’t been lying when he’d said he lived only a few blocks away, Alex knew the building he’d said he lived in. It wasn’t the nicest place in the world, but the rent was cheap and there were far worse places. He picks up the scarf Frances had made for him and puts it around his neck, it really was just some string with their ends glued together, but if it made the little girl happy he’d gladly wear anything she made. She was a sweet little girl, with her dark skin and curly hair, and that genuine smile you only got from kids when they still saw the world as a wonder, and everything excited them.

He glances at the clock and time suddenly feels like it’s running in hyperdrive and if he doesn’t get out of the house this minute he’s going to be late. He shrugs on his coat and grabs the covered pan from the kitchen before heading out the door and down the sidewalk, the cold air biting at his nose. The walk wasn’t all that far but he wondered how long it felt for Laurens that night they first met. John looked older than his years, not so much physically, just the way he held himself, and the way his eyes seemed more relaxed almost somber, as if he’d watched his dreams die, though at the same time he looked at Frances’ with so much love. It had been a long time since Alex had felt that kind of love, his mother had died when he was a young and his father had left before he could even remember him.

He reached the building and readjusted the pan in his hands so that he could press the buzzer for Laurens’’ apartment number.

* * *

 

John hadn’t meant to invite Alex over, but standing there on the sidewalk with Alex asking for his phone number, he didn’t want him to leave yet, didn’t want the man to slip into oblivion, just a passing face. So he’d taken a leap, and for a single solitary moment he thought the ground was going to hit him hard when he’d said no, but it hadn’t been because he didn’t want to. They scheduled, and set a day, and now Frances was happily squirming in the towel he’d wrapped around her after her bath. She’d picked out the dress she wanted to wear for dinner, because she’d told him she wanted it to be a fancy dinner, and that he and Alex were on a date, and that should not have made John blush as much as he had. He’d shook his head and told her that Alex was just a friend, and that most people didn’t bring their ‘little darlings’ with them on dates and she’d giggled all while he got her dressed and put two braids in her hair. Then she’d turned around and hugged him around the neck.

“I can just play, that way it can be a date!” She’d said, and John kissed her cheek.

“It’s not a date.” And she’d huffed and crossed her arms.

“But I want to play.”

“You can play while I make dinner, ok?” She nodded quickly and let go of him to go over to where her stuffed toys were, John left the door open so that he could hear her in the kitchen. It wasn’t a particularly fancy meal, it was simple enough that John could make it easily but it looked nice on a plate. Before Frances he had never been great at cooking, but he’d learned how to make a decent variety of foods that even his picky child would eat.

The buzzer sounded through the apartment just as the rice had finished cooking, and Frances raced to the door.

“Frances.” John said as she reached for the doorknob and he had just stepped out of the kitchen. “What have I told you opening to door to strangers.”

“But Daddy, it's not a stranger, it's Alex.” He dropped down to a crouch when he was next to her so that she could look him in the eye.

“Do you know for sure it’s Alex?” She looked at the ground and shook her head. John hoisted the girl into his arms and opened the door, and heading down the short hallway and staircase in the apartment building. He let Frances pull the door open. Alex was holding a small tin of brownies, and wearing a short black peacoat.

“You wore my scarf!” Frances shouted and Alex laughed.

“I did cheri, and I brought you sweets.” He said holding up the tin. She clapped her hands excitedly as John led Alex into the building and into the apartment. He set Frances down once they were back inside, and placed the tray Alex had brought with him on the counter.

“Where should I put my coat?” Alex asked.

“I can put it in the closet.” John said reaching out to take it and Frances grabbed Alex’s hand.

“I want to show you my room!” She said, leading Alex in there as John hung the coat up. While he finished cooking he was overly aware of how messy the apartment was, his shoes shucked off by the door, Frances’ toys scattered around the living room, how dusty everything suddenly seemed to be. He’d just finished plating the food when Alex stepped into the kitchen.

“Salmon and rice?” He asked.

“You forgot the steamed broccoli.” John said carrying the plates to the table. “Where’s Frances?”

“In her room, do you want me to get her?”

“Could you while I get changed.”

“You look just fine how you are.” Alex replied, and John felt the blush creeping into his cheeks again, was he flirting? Certainly not, he was probably just here for the free meal. John snuck into his room and changed into a button down. Should he put on a tie, would that seem too formal, would it make Alex uncomfortable if he was too formal? He dropped it onto his bed and went back to the kitchen, Frances was getting out silverware and setting the table while Alex helped her fill up some glasses with water.

“You didn’t have to do that.” John said as they all sat down and Alex gave a small shrug.

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

Frances talked excitedly all through dinner, the topics range from her favorite stuffed animal and a very detailed explanation most 3 year olds wouldn’t come up with, to preschool, and her teacher, Ms.Sky. John half winces when she tells the story of when the babysitter had cancelled without telling John and she’d had to sit with the teacher until John got off of work. Luckily she was a nice woman, who had been understanding but had asked that John keep things like that in check. He still felt horrible about it.

“What kind of work do you do?” John asked at a gap in Frances’ dialogue.

“I’m a freelance journalist, I was originally going to go into law, political science major, but ended up getting a minor in journalism.”

“How’d you get into it?”

“I found a gig online, wrote the article and within the month I had a bunch of groups wanting me to work for them.” He sighed and leaned back. “I get to write what I want and I have no contract so it's a very open line of work.” John nodded along as he talked. The food was gone and awkward suddenly silence had filled the kitchen.

“May I be excused?” Frances asked.

“I’ll get the plates.” John said, glancing at the clock, suddenly realizing the time. “Go brush your teeth sweetheart, I’ll be in there in a moment to get your pajamas and tuck you in.” She nodded and wiggled out of her seat. Alex stood with his own dishes before John could pick them up and set them in the sink.

“I’ll be right back, so that we can have an adult conversation. I love her, but sometimes you just need to talk to a fellow adult.” Alex smiled at that and took a seat on the couch.

Alex couldn’t actually hear what they were saying in the other room but from the rhythmic pace of John’s voice he assumed he was reading her a story, he could hear her soft giggle occasionally at something in the story and then it’d be back to the soft noise of John’s voice. He returned a few minutes later, grabbing the tin of brownies as he sat down next to Alex. Conversation flowed more comfortable between just the two of them. Before long they were both laughing at something and John’s forehead came to rest on Alex’s shoulder as he laughed. His laugh was kind, completely genuine and it made Alex feel warm all over and his toes curl in satisfaction. When Laurens looked at him from where his head rested on his shoulder and their eyes caught it sent shivers down his spine, and the Alex’s hand was pressed to his cheek, fingers barely in his hair and he could feel John’s breath on his face, his skin soft beneath his hands, and he leaned forward slightly, he could imagine the kiss and then suddenly John pulled away and when he finally took his eyes off John he saw that he was looking at Frances who was holding a small glass.

“Can I have a glass of water?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, not proud of this chapter, I am sorry for how horribly written that was. I will try to make the next chapter better.


	5. A Hungover Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was lying in bed at the moment, it was late in the day, he’d slept until one, been out until past 2. It had been almost a week since the dinner, since the ‘almost kiss’, since he’d run. He was hungover, very much hungover, everything ached and every part of him just told him to take an aspirin, drink some water and go back to sleep. His phone was telling him other things however and the incessant buzzing from across the room was making it difficult for him to actually go back to sleep.

Alex hadn’t called John back after he’d left the apartment while John had gone to tuck Francis back in, he’d hadn’t wanted to endure the awkward conversation that would follow the ‘almost kiss’ and he certainly didn’t want the rejection, not again, not after Troup, he was just rebounding and he needed to remember that John didn’t really care, he was just looking for a friend because from what they’d talked about it didn’t seem like he had a whole lot, he talked about his high school years, he used to play football, used to have a lot of friends. Alex had felt there was some big secret that he was holding out on, John had said he’d already been an EMT when Francis was born, surely he could have been a doctor, he had the mind for it but he didn’t mention college or Francis’ mother. Alex had accepted that John had pulled away before he’d seen Francis, that he had pulled away from Alex because of his actions, that's why Alex had fled, grabbing his jacket and in haste forgetting the little girls scarf. John hadn’t texted or called him so he’d probably already forgotten all about Alex, had most likely already forgotten about him. Alex wasn’t sure if he’d ever forget them though, the man with long curly hair and green eyes and the little girl with big dark brown eyes. 

He was lying in bed at the moment, it was late in the day, he’d slept until one, been out until past 2. It had been almost a week since the dinner, since the ‘almost kiss’, since he’d run. He was hungover, very much hungover, everything ached and every part of him just told him to take an aspirin, drink some water and go back to sleep. His phone was telling him other things however and the incessant buzzing from across the room was making it difficult for him to actually go back to sleep. So he crawled out of bed, his head pounding and snatched up the phone, not bothering to check the caller ID.

“Alexander!” The voice on the other end shouted into the receiver and Alex nearly dropped his phone in surprise. “Oh thank god! No one else would pick up.” He pulled the phone back, squinting at the name in front of him, his glasses still on his nightstand.

“John?”

“Yes?” He sounded confused, which wasn’t fair because Alex clearly should have been the one to be confused, it was John who had called him.

“I just hadn’t expected you to call back.”

“Yeah, sorry about that, work's been crazy. That’s actually why I’m calling.” Alex flopped back onto his bed, the phone pressed to his ear, as he listened. “I just got a call from my babysitter and she’s on vacation, apparently she can’t let me know these things in advance, and I’ve got a shift until 7 tonight.”

“Are you asking me to pick up Francis?”

“I swear, it's a one time thing, I’ve literally called everyone else, they all have work or straight up won’t answer me, and Francis knows you.” Alex sighs, more because he’s stretching than because of what John’s asking. “I’m really sorry, I just..” He pauses for a moment. “The last time this happened the school threatened to call DCFS, because the babysitter didn’t let me know beforehand, and…”

“Hey, hey.” Alex said lightly, as he sat up. “You’re rambling.”

“Sorry, I’m just..”

“It’s alright, I can pick her up. Send me the address and I’ll be there by 3.”

“Thank you, oh my god, thank you. I owe you so much more than dinner for this.”

“It’s fine, really. Is there anything I need to do so that the school can confirm I’m there for her and not some creepy stalker dude.” Alex joked.

“I’ll call them and give them your name, when’s your birthday?”

“January 11th 1990.” 

“Bring your ID, I’ll call the school and give them the info so they can check you when you get there. I already did a background check so they don’t..”

“You what?”

“I did a background check on you.” John says, slowly as though he hadn’t meant to say it in the first place. “I’m sorry, please don’t be mad, I just worry about Francis and I didn’t want to have you over and not know, god I’m sorry that probably sounded weird, you don’t weird me out or anything you just can never be too safe.”

“Laurens, sweetie, you’re rambling again.” Fuck, he hadn’t meant to say that and made a face, the phone went quiet on the other line, and they both held their breath for a minute. “I’m going to hang up now.” Alex said. “Do you want me to just bring her to my place?”

“Francis has a key to ours in her backpack, it's for emergencies, her babysitter isn’t the most competent, but if you’re more comfortable just going to yours that’s fine, just text me.” He hears a muffled siren in the distance.

“I have to go, I’ll call the school, thank you again so much.” 

“Alright, love ya bye.” Fuck! He flipped the phone closed and slammed his head down into a pillow, fuck, fuck fuckity fuck. Half a second later the phone buzzed, a text from John, with nothing but the cry laughing emoji. Ok, good, John thought it was funny, meaning it hadn’t freaked him out. Another text, and Alex had the address for the school. 

He had 30 minutes before he had to leave and started towards the bathroom. Contacts were first, then the washing of his face, the dark circles under his eyes were not going to go away themselves so he found some concealer and covered them easily. He’d learned the ins and outs of makeup from a friend of his, a french guy with a name that was too long to remember, and who simply went by Lafayette most of the time. Alex was hungover now because of Lafayette, who had dragged him out the night before, for one reason and one reason alone, drinking contests. He claimed that Hercules could take it better than Alex, he was right of course, Alex knew he was a lightweight, but shit if he wasn’t going to try anyway. Lafayette found watching people get drunk to be highly entertaining and had wholly enjoyed his time, this might have also been why he worked as a stripper/bartender. The guy found it hilarious when people around him got completely drunk. Lafayette drank, but it took quite a bit for him to actually get drunk and often opted for just a soda. He’d been the one to get Alex home the night before, he’d practically given him a piggyback ride home after dropping Hercules off at his apartment as well, mostly because Alex was tiny and Lafayette was probably the tallest guy he knew and could not pass up an opportunity, especially after 4 near collisions with lampposts and 3 times tripping over his own feet. So he’d graciously wrapped his arms around Lafayette's’ neck and his legs around his middle and let himself be carried to his home and dropped unceremoniously into his bed and pressed a kiss to his cheek and pulled the blankets up around him, Alexander already fast asleep by the time Lafayette reached the front door. 

His hair was greasy but he didn’t have enough time to take a shower so he sprayed in some dry shampoo and pulled it into a loose bun, he had been contemplating getting an undercut for a while, maybe he’d asked John about it tonight, was that petty? Probably, but it wasn’t like he had a dress code he had to keep, and a change would be nice, Troup had always bad-mouthed undercuts, called them tacky and hipster. Maybe he would cut it just to spite him. He finished in the bathroom with brushing his teeth and swishing a bit of mouthwash to get rid of any residual alcohol smell, and swallowed two aspirin to quell the pounding in his head, it didn’t do much but it was better than nothing. He dropped a bagel into the toaster and grabbed a bottle of water, opting to avoid the coffee as the caffeine crash headache he’d get in a few hours would only add to the one he already had and he was alert enough after the phone call with John. 

He checked the time before heading out, giving himself a little over an hour to walk the distance to the preschool. When he got there, several parents were already waiting outside of the building. 10 minutes before 3 a young woman with long dark hair opened the doors and a group of about 30 or so preschoolers came outside and to their parents. Once the chaos of the scrambling children and parents settled Alex stepped towards the teacher.

“And you are?” She asked. 

“Alexander Hamilton, I’m here to pick up Francis.” He pulled out his wallet and passed her his ID. “John said he’d call.”

“Yes, it’s right here.” She said pointing at a spot on her clipboard. “I just need you to sign this.” she  held it out to him along with a pen and he signed on the line.

“Will we be seeing more of you Mister Hamilton.”

“Probably not, I’m just a friend of John’s, babysitter cancelled.” She nodded, and passed back his ID as she took the clipboard again.

“Eliza Schuyler” She said holding out her free hand, and Alex shook it.

“Schuyler? Are you by chance related to Angelica?”

“Oh dear, what did she and her little crony do this time?”

“Nothing, she’s actually quite a good friend.” Alex said laughing. 

“You wouldn’t happen to be that writer she’s always harassing.”

“That would be me.”

“Small world.”

“Indeed.” 

“I’ll go get Francis” Eliza disappeared back inside and a moment later Francis came running out of the building her small backpack thumping against her back, Eliza behind her.

“Alex!” 

“Hi, Francis.”

“Are you picking me up?”

“Yup, you want a piggy back ride?” She nodded quickly and Alex crouched down so she could climb onto his back. So this is what Laf felt like, he half thought as he stood. 

“I hope to see you again Alexander.” Eliza said as she headed back inside. 

“You too.”

“Bye Ms. Sky!” Francis shouted, as she waved with one hand, and Eliza smiled as she waved good-bye. “Are we going to your house?” She asked.

“We can if you’d like.”

“I wanna go to your house.”

"Alright, my house it is." With one hand snapped a picture of him and Francis and texted it to John along with a message saying to meet at his place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, wow, I have been on top of these the last few days. Go me!!! Also comments are highly appreciated as are Kudos. Seriously, whoever is reading this shit show is awesome, I love each and every one of you.


	6. Waffles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thank you, thank you so much.” John’s arms strong and firm, he was taller than Alex by about a head, and John practically lifted him off the ground when he hugged him. “You honestly have no idea how much this means.” When he finally released him he noticed the light dusting of flour covering Alex from nearly head to toe.

When Alex had answered the door at quarter after the seven the last thing he had expected was John to practically throw himself through the door to wrap his arms around Alex.

“Thank you, thank you so much.” John’s arms strong and firm, he was taller than Alex by about a head, and John practically lifted him off the ground when he hugged him. “You honestly have no idea how much this means.” When he finally released him he noticed the light dusting of flour covering Alex from nearly head to toe, and then Francis came running in.

“Daddy, daddy.” John scooped her up in his arms, and she giggled and kissed his cheek. “Me and Alex made breakfast.”

“Breakfast?” John asked.

“Uh huh.” She nodded. “We made it for you.” He looks at Alex who smiles a bit sheepishly.

“When I asked her what she wanted for dinner she said waffles.”

“You didn’t have to, we could have just…”

“John, it’s fine.”

“You say that a lot, are you sure? I don’t mean to intrude.” Alex waved away as if the suggestion was an insect.

“Really, I actually enjoy your company.” John set Francis back down.

“We can’t stay for long, gotta keep the bedtime, right Francis?”

“Right.” She said giving him two thumbs up, a wide grin spread across her cheeks, and then grabbed his hand and led him towards the kitchen, a timer went off and Alex opened up the waffle iron and used a fork to pull it onto a plate already stacked with waffles.

“Can I pour this one?” Francis said, looking up at John.

“Ask Alex, it's his house.” Alex scooped a bit of the batter into a measuring cup, handing it to Francis once John had set her on the counter and she poured it into the iron, making little swirls with the batter until it was empty and Alex closed the lid. John had shed his shoes at the door and was wearing a bright green sock on foot and a bright orange one on the other.

“Nice socks.” Alex joked and John looked down. Francis giggled at his mismatched socks she slid off the counter to go back to the kitchen table where colored pencils were strewn along with a small pile of paper.

“You did good.” Alex said as he watched John watching Francis, not even realizing he’d said it aloud until John looked at him with a face of confusion.

“What?”

“Francis, she’s a good kid, you’ve done well raising her.”

“She’s only three.”

“You’ve done a good job so far, how about that?”

“I really haven’t. That’s just her. We’ve got each other, just me and Francis against the world.” Alex chuckled.

“What?”

“I’m imagining the two of you as a crime fighting duo.” The timer rings again and Alex pulls the last waffle out, and flips the iron off. “Do you think I should get an undercut?” John laughs.

“Well, that’s out of left field.”

“Sorry. Just kind of need a change, my ex, they liked to shiii,” He catches himself. “Bad-mouth undercuts, and now I kind of want to get one. What’d you think, could I pull it off?” Francis is picking up her stuff as Alex brings the plates to the table.

“You could pull off anything.” Alex can feel his ears and face heating up at John’s comment, but opts for a stuttered “Thanks” rather than overanalyzing the situation. John flashes a soft smile as he gets glasses down from the cabinet, seeming to remember their placement from the morning weeks before. Francis took the silverware passed to her by Alex and set the table.

The whole scene reminded Alexander of a well oiled machine, or perhaps how a family was in the morning. The image of John coming into the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants, crept into his thoughts, hair still messy from sleep, and his skin warm as he crowded Alexander against the counter, leaning down to… _Stop it_ , he told himself, _that’s not going to happen. He has a kid,_ he reminded himself, _he’s straight._ They all sat down to eat, Francis was somewhat subdued compared to the last meal the group had shared. John seemed reluctant to share much so Alex talked about going to DC for a few days later that month to get insight and conduct interviews for a piece he was working on.

John helped him clean the kitchen when they were finished. Francis looked on the verge of collapse when John picked her up, slinging her little backpack over her shoulder.

“You forgot one of your drawings.” Alex said, picking it up from the table and she shook her head.

“I made it for you.” She said, tucking her head under John’s chin.

“Thank you very much Francis.”

“You’re welcome.” She murmured, already starting to fall asleep and John pressed a kiss to the top of her head. John fished the wallet out of his back pocket and was pulling out some cash when Alex gave him a look.

“You aren’t seriously trying to pay me?”

“I owe you for babysitting.”

“John, I don’t need your money ok?”

“But I…”

“No buts.”

“Are you sure, there has to be something I can do.”

“Just text me when you get home, let me know that you and Francis are alright.” Alex lay the picture on the counter and went into the living room to open the front door, leaving John standing in the kitchen with wallet still in hand.

“Bye Alex.” Francis said, face still buried in her father’s coat, when John got to the door.

“Bye Cheri.” He could hear her muffled giggles. “Bye John.” He said giving a nod. “Don’t forget, text me.”

“I will.”

“Be careful on the way home, alright?” John nodded and started down the steps. Alex didn’t close the door until he got to the sidewalk and even then he spent way too long at his window watching them as they went down the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dear god, this chapter is also a mess, I'm sorry. But oh my god, how has this hit a thousand reads and a hundred kudos I am honestly stunned. Really hope you like where this is going because I honestly have no outline, just a general thing that I gotta build up to and some rough ideas of things that I want to happen eventually and then a minor non-romantic plot line (maybe, no guarantees), that may or may not drag up some ghosts from John's past. (BIG MAYBE HERE!!!)  
> As always comments are my favorite things, second only to coffee.


	7. Stitches ((not like the song, I promise))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He gets up from where he’s reading on the couch and swipes the phone off the counter, Alexander, who else would be calling, it's not like there's anyone he talks to unless you count his coworkers.  
> “Hello?”  
> “John! Hi, so you know how normally it's you coming to me with emergencies, either familial or medical? Rhetorical question, anyway my P.I. friends got in over their head and I think Peggy’s gonna need stitches but she refuses to let me take her to the hospital.” There's a loud crash and the sound of a muffled struggle and a girl shouting obscenities in the background and then Alex is back. “Sorry about that, she threw a candle at me.”

The phone buzzes angrily on the counter nearly an hour after John’s put Frances to bed. He’d texted Alex the moment he got home, and Alex had almost immediately responded with a smiley face. It was somewhat endearing, Alex was in general endearing, he was cute in the same way a puppy was cute with an overabundance of energy and kindness. John had to keep reminding himself that no matter his sexual orientation he was young, probably a few years older than John, but young none the less, and most likely hadn’t even entertained the thought of a relationship between the two of them, what with the baggage that came with dating a 23 year old with a kid. There had been a moment, a quick fleeting moment where John had left himself entertain such a thought, and then Frances had been there and while getting her back to sleep, chemicals still screaming through his brain as he imagined the moment that was to come, he found Alex gone. Most likely he had realized that he didn’t want a relationship with someone who would do nothing but tie them down. 

He gets up from where he’s reading on the couch and swipes the phone off the counter, Alexander, who else would be calling, it's not like there's anyone he talks to unless you count his coworkers.

“Hello?”

“John! Hi, so you know how normally it's you coming to me with emergencies, either familial or medical? Rhetorical question, anyway my P.I. friends got in over their head and I think Peggy’s gonna need stitches but she refuses to let me take her to the hospital.” There's a loud crash and the sound of a muffled struggle and a girl shouting obscenities in the background and then Alex is back. “Sorry about that, she threw a candle at me.”

“A candle?”

“Yes, a candle, but that really isn’t the point right now, can you do stitches?”

“Um, I never got formal training but yes I know how.”

“Can I bring..” More static. “For fucks sake, Peggy, stop throwing things!” Then the voice is directed back into the phone. “Sorry, can I bring her over and you fix her up, I don’t want to make it worse than it already is.” 

“Yes you can bring her over, I’ll get the stuff ready.” In warning he added. “But she better not wake Frances up.” The line went dead and John sighed, since when had his personal life gotten so exciting? 

He hurried to the bathroom, finding the first aid kit in a heartbeat and bringing it to the living room where he quickly cleared off the table and flipped on the light, making sure Frances’ bedroom door was shut. He laid a few old towels across the couch and then hurried to the door to open it before they could ring the buzzer and wake Frances up and waits until he sees Alexander with two girls, one with her arms slung around the others shoulders and John rushes forward to pick her up, an arm under her knees and the other at her back and she immediately starts to hit him with the purse on her shoulder.

“Peggy!” Alexander practically shouts. “It’s John.” She stops and John quickly leads them all inside, depositing the girl, Peggy, onto the couch. They did a decent job bandaging the wound on her arm but John still has to make sure it doesn’t need stitches. Firstly he addresses the head wound, a slice that went from her hairline through her right eyebrow. 

“Did you hit your head?” He asks. “Or is that a knife wound?” He’s glad he’s prepared and grabs a washcloth from the small stack he has on the table and dips it in the bowl of cool water, pressing it to the wound.

“Both, the thing on my face is from a knife, but I think I have a concussion, bashed me against the wall for that one though.”

“Where’d you hit your head?” She gestures to the spot directly behind her right ear at the back of her skull. “Hold this ok?” He says taking one of her hands to hold the washcloth to her forehead as John presses gently to the back of her skull and she winces. “Tender?”

“No shit.” 

“Get some ice from the freezer.” He says, directing the statement at Alex and the other girl, who are hovering just behind the couch, he doesn’t pay much attention to which one disappears into the kitchen, instead grabbing the antiseptic from the table, and pulling on a pair of disposable gloves.He removes the washcloth from her forehead so he can disinfect it. She grabs his arm as he does, her nails digging into his skin, and he grabs her wrist, replacing his arm with a roll of gauze. The other girl comes back with the icepack and John places it in Peggy’s other hand and presses it to the wound at the back of her head before quickly returning back to his task.

It's definitely going to need stitches, he knew that the moment he saw it. He has needles soaking in a small bowl of hydrogen peroxide, along with the thread he’s going to use. He makes sure that the area is thoroughly cleaned before he picks up the first needle, he’d threaded them before they’d arrived.

“This is going to hurt.” He says. “And I don’t want you freaking out or the neighbors are going to call the cops, and I’m assuming that's not what you want considering you refused to go to the hospital. Alright?’ She starts to nod but John holds her head still.”I need you to lie down, with your head elevated.” The other girl moves forward so that Peggy can rest her head in her lap as she lies down. “You all situated?” He asks.

“Yeah.” She mutters and John presses the tip of the needle against her skin, she sucks in a breath and grips the gauze even tighter. Alex is hovering above them and John has to remind him not to block the light. It’s over quickly, and John cleans around it a final time before taking the gauze from her, and presses a cotton pad to the stitches before wrapping the gauze around her head to secure it. 

“I need you to lay on your stomach now, with your injured arm elevated, I don’t….” He sees Frances standing in the doorway again, a little turtle clutched tightly in her arms, and tear streaks on her cheeks. “Sweetheart, what happened?”

“I had a bad dream.” She says sniffling and clutching the toy tighter, Alex moves before John can react and crouches down in front of her.

“How about I read you a story?” She nods and John mouths a quick ‘thank you’ before continuing his work on Peggy. She’s moved her arm so that’s resting on the back of the couch, John unwraps the bandaging that’s already there, cleaning it quickly, it's not deep but it needs stitches as well and he grabs another needle out of the bowl. It takes a bit longer than the first because Peggy won’t stop squirming, not that John can really blame her, but it makes his job much harder but eventually he gets it sewn up and rebandaged. She sits up when he’s finished, leaning heavily on the girl next to her who’s done nothing but scowl at John since the time she arrived.

“Is there anything else I need to look at?”

“I mean, I’ve probably got a yeast…”

“Peggy, don’t be fucking rude.” The girl in the leather jacket and white t-shirt says.

“Hey!” He says sharply. “My kid is in the other room so I don’t appreciate you dropping the F-bomb in my living room.” He turns to Peggy, who he now realizes is in a navy blue dress with large pastel polkadots. “And I have no problem helping you but I’ve done nothing to deserve the snarky comments, so I will ask again, is there anything else that I can help you with that is medically relevant to your given situation, because if not my daughter is in the other room.” They both look slightly shell shocked, and he sighs. “I’m sorry, it's been a long day.” Why does he always have to apologize nearly immediately after meeting them, he really needs to work on his people skills. Peggy pipes up.

“I might have a few bruised ribs, that's what it feels like at least.”

“Can I?” He asks, pointing at the dress and she lifts it up, and leans against the back of the couch. She’s got shorts on under her dress and John mentally offers thanks to any god listening, he’s seen people naked before,obviously, but he still isn’t sure he’d be comfortable with seeing one of Hamilton’s friends in their underwear. There's considerable bruising and John presses his palm to it and presses lightly, she winces and takes in a sharp breath. He removes his hand and she pulls the dress back down, unperturbed by it all. 

“Ok, so I don’t think their broken, one might be cracked but you should heal just fine. I’ll get some more ice in a minute. Do you think you have a concussion or do you think you just hit your head?” 

“I don’t know, haven’t had a good blow to the head in a while.” The other girl sighs loudly.

“Christ Peggy, can you please take this seriously for 5 minutes.” She says, and then turns to John. “I’m Angelica by the way.” She’s pretty, dark hair hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, she probably stands a little bit taller than him, and she’s dressed in stereotypical Private Investigator fashion, with the leather jacket, white t-shirt, dark jeans and aviators tucked into the breast pocket of the jacket. “I’ll watch for the symptoms, it wouldn’t be the first time she got hurt because she refused to listen to me.” Peggy sticks her tongue out and huffs as John goes to the kitchen to get ice for her ribs. He drops it on the space next to her and goes to Frances’ room.

Alex has moved the step stool that was in front of her closet to the spot next to her bed. She’s got the covers pulled up to her chin, her eyes half shut. He stays for a moment, wondering if he’ll ever get this full experience, of having someone else help him take care of Frances. He stands for a few minutes, listening as Alex reads from one of the many books stacked on her nightstand. His voice like a melody as he followed the rhythm of the story. It’s not until Alex stands up, setting the book on the nightstand and turning to see John in the doorway.

“Oh, hi. How long have you been there?” John shrugged.

“Awhile.”

“Awhile?” Alex repeated stepping closer, close enough that all John would need to do was lean down if he wanted to kiss him, hardly any space at all. “How long is awhile?”

“I don’t know, two books.” They were making eye contact now, sharing the same air, he could hear his heart, feel it in his throat. He started to lean forward, and he could have sworn Alex went to his tip toes. There was a hand suddenly on his arm, and Angelica was standing there.

“Peggy’s raiding your kitchen, I hope you don’t mind.” Alex sped past them, disappearing into the hall and then into the kitchen and after John closed the door to Frances room he found Alex lecturing Peggy as she sat on the couch, chewing on a still frozen waffle. 

It was well after midnight when Angelica got a call and her and Peggy disappeared without so much as goodbye. John warned them both to be careful and passed Peggy a few painkillers before they left though. The two had somehow gotten his number and Angelica had sent him a thank you that was signed with her name while Peggy sent him about 6 texts consisting of nothing but emojis. Alex stayed for a bit longer and helped him to straighten out his apartment, and promised to pay him back for the food that the other two had made off with. 

“I have to head home.” Alex said almost an hour after the girls had left. 

“You can stay if..” He stopped for a moment, trying to compose his thoughts, he had never been good with words. “I mean, I can make up a bed, I don’t want to send you away at such an hour.” Alex smiled, though there was something sad there.

“Look, I’d love to but I have a piece due in the morning, I was going to finish it earlier but then Peggy and Ange showed up.”

“Oh, ok.” John opened the door as he headed out. “Text me when you get back?” It felt like more than a few hours had gone by since Alex had told him the same thing, a lot could happen in a night.

“I will.” Alex stood in the doorway for a moment, as if he was trying to decide if he was staying or going, and then he took a step forward pressing a kiss to John’s cheek, and then stepped back and went down to the door that went outside, leaving John standing in the doorway. The kiss had felt like pity, like Alex had only done it as a way to say ‘hey, you’re a nice boy but it’d never work.’ 

Alex doesn’t text him, but in the morning the buzzer goes off and when he goes to open the door for whoever it is there's a bag of groceries in front of the door, a note reading ‘Laurens’ in big letters taped to the handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's been on top of writing this shit? MEEEE!!! I'm legit super proud of myself, I didn't school yesterday and counting non-fanfic projects I wrote like 7000 words total. AND HOLY CRAP!! FIFTEEN HUNDRED FREAKING READS HOW IS THIS AN ACTUAL THING!! I seriously love you like so much RN.  
> Alrighty so this is the part when I tell you that comments are my favorite because they literally are, I screenshot each and every comment I get and I have a special little photo folder on my phone just for them, so that I can read them when I get sad.


	8. Ghosts

John would be lying if he said he didn’t know how long it had been since he’d last seen Alexander leaving, after he’d kissed him, but he didn’t want to think about that, wanted to pretend that he hadn’t ever met him. He’d been happy before meeting Alex, content for it to just be him and Frances. She asked about Alex a lot, asked if he would picking her up from school, and she always seemed disappointed when the answer was no. John would be glad when she forgot about him, because that meant he could forget, because forgetting and not texting him was better than texting him and getting a “read at…” in return, so he didn’t text, didn’t call. He didn’t miss Alex, that's what he told himself, didn’t miss the adult companionship, didn’t miss his banter, or smile. Didn’t miss the sparkle in his deep brown eyes and he most certainly didn’t miss the messy hair, and he definitely doesn’t wonder if he got the undercut or not. 

He has a full two days off, which is weird, normally his schedule doesn’t give him a whole lot of time off but it falls like that this week. He wakes Frances up early that morning with the promise of coffee shop hot cocoa, it isn’t often they go but about once a month they’ll stop after school and John will get something with espresso and Francis will get a hot chocolate and they’ll sit in one of the big comfy chairs, Frances in his lap as she drinks the cocoa and John will people watch. He’ll come up with stories for everyone and whisper the ideas to Frances and then she’ll pick someone else for John to make up a story about. So getting her up early that morning is anything but a hassle and she even tries to get dressed by herself, which ends in a minor disaster. He makes her some oatmeal and she eats it while he gets dressed and then they head out, her backpack on her back as she skips down the sidewalk holding her father’s hand. 

When they get there John orders the drinks and Frances has her face pressed up against the glass of the display case for the cookies and donuts. John adds a flower cookie to the order and after the drinks are made they sit down and John splits the cookie in half, giving one of the sides to Francis as she sips at her hot chocolate. He dips his piece into the coffee, and smiles when Francis imitates him, dipping her own into her cocoa. When they’re finished they head out, Francis waving bye to the barista with the purple hair.

She skips the entire to school, her little velcro shoes, she can’t tie knots yet, dancing across the pavement as she grips his hand. When they get to the school she hangs up her backpack in her cubby but runs back over to him before he leaves. He envelopes her in a hug and she wraps her little arms around his neck, he kisses her forehead and promises to pick her up at the end of the day. She grins and tells him not to be late and then she goes to play with the other children. 

There’s a woman waiting outside when he leaves the building and when she sees him she moves towards him, her eyes angry and John thinks she looks familiar. He doesn’t think about it and instead starts on his way home, the woman following him for several blocks and finally he stops.

“Why are you following me?”

“Are you John Laurens?” 

“Yes, is there something I can do for you?” 

“There is actually.” She moves forward. “You can give me back my daughter.”

“Excuse me?” He asks, looking bewildered as she set her jaw. “I think you have the wrong guy lady, the only kid I have is my daughter.”

“That little girl is as much my daughter as she is yours.” And then it hits him why she looks familiar. 

 

Alex is in the hotel shower when his phone rings. He doesn’t bother with his glasses, knowing they’re likely steamed up and simply puts it on speaker as he flips the nozzle for the water. 

“Alex? Are you there?” The voice sounds slightly broken. 

“Yeah.” He grabs a towel and starts to dry himself off. “Who’s this?”

“John.” He pauses for a second.

“Oh, I didn’t think you’d call me.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, I just.” There’s the sound of something that sounds like a sob and then a sniffle. 

“Is everything alright John?” He picks the phone up and sits on the counter. 

“No.” There's another sob like sound.

“Hey, hey, hey, what happened? I’m in DC right now but I can get on a train and be there in a few hours if you need me to be.”

“Frances’ mom showed up at the school today. She wants me to take me to court for custody.” He takes a deep shaky breath on the other end and Alex starts to pull his clothes on. 

“If she tries to take you to court for this nothing's going to happen, she hasn’t been a part of Frances’ life, they’re not going to separate her from you.”

“They will if she’s got the means to actually provide for her, she’s living with her parents and they’ve got money, a lot of freaking money Alex, they make in a month what I make in a year.” He starts to put his toiletries in his travel bag and moves to the main room. 

“I’m going to get my stuff packed and then I’m going to get on a train, alright. I have some lawyer friends for school, remember political science major.”

“I can’t, I can’t afford a lawyer.” He stutters.

“I’ll call in some favors, alright?” 

“No, I don’t want you to just take care of this. I don’t even know why I called you. I haven’t seen you in three weeks. I’m sorry I called.” 

The line goes dead and Alex calls back several times before shoving the rest of his things into the suitcase. He checks out at the front desk in a heartbeat and one of the workers hails him a cab, on the way to the train station he buys the ticket from his phone and calls John 4 more times. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> non-romance plot things, though romance things are still gonna happen (duhhhh)


	9. "You called me."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The train itself isn’t bad, in fact in a normal circumstance he would have sat back and watched the scenery flash by with his head against the window and let himself drift off, or he would work, computer on the table in front of him. He’d done a piece on railway traveling, the way nostalgia seemed to fill up the space of the cars, the way the people around him had only added to the experience.

The train itself isn’t bad, in fact in a normal circumstance he would have sat back and watched the scenery flash by with his head against the window and let himself drift off, or he would work, computer on the table in front of him. He’d done a piece on railway traveling, the way nostalgia seemed to fill up the space of the cars, the way the people around him had only added to the experience. Troup had come with him on that trip, he’d slept most of the ride, his head resting on Alex’s shoulder, he was never one to much like travelling unless it was flying, Troup liked the idea of humans pushing the limits of what they could do, and Alex had loved the way his eyes lit up when he talked about all the things that humans had done, he taught high school ancient history and back then Alex would have given anything to watch him in his element. This ride however, seemed to stretch on forever, and Alex had no hope of writing, not with how fidgety he was now, not when John wouldn’t answer or his calls or texts. He’d decided to conserve the battery on his phone instead of constantly calling John but he’d made sure the sound was on in case he called him back.

They finally arrived in New York and Alex promptly caught a cab to take him to his apartment. He unlocked the front door, threw his bags just inside and door before locking it again and running down the street to John’s apartment. He called his phone on the way over, still no answer, and then he was up the stairs of the building and pressing the buzzer for his apartment and calling him again. 

The door opened, John was standing there, eyes slightly puffy and his hair sticking out of the ponytail at odd angles. 

“Hey.” Alex said, still breathless from running. John didn’t even protest when Alex pulled him down so that he could hug him, somewaht awkwardly what with John being quite a bit taller than he was. “It’s going to be alright. You’re gonna figure this out, and I can help if you’d like.” John’s arms came up under his own, wrapping around his back, face buried in the shoulder of  Alex’s maroon hoodie. 

“I didn’t mean to drag you into my life.” He chokes out. “Didn’t want to pull you into my mess.” Alex pulls away slightly, a hand on John’s cheek.

“I don’t mind, my life was getting pretty boring without you.” John gave a small smile.

“I highly doubt that, your friends are alot more interesting that me.” Alex shakes his head.

“Trust me, you are way better.” Alex presses his forehead to John’s, breath mingling and eyes meeting, he doesn’t kiss him, because if he kisses him Alex knows that John will feel like its some sort of payment, that Alex is only helping him because he wants something in return. Thats the kind of person John is, someone who refuses to acknowledge their own worth, and he doesn’t want to exploit that, doesn’t want him to feel used. “Have you had lunch yet?” John shakes his head. “I’d offer to make something at my place but I haven’t been home in a week and cleaned out the perishables before I left.” He steps back, and takes John gently by the arm to guide him inside. “How about you go wash your face and then we can go get some lunch and we can start getting all this stuff sorted out, alright?”John takes in a shaky breath and wipes at his face with one hand and nods.

“Yeah.”

* * *

 

“I have a friend, sort of, we used to date but it was a mutual thing to end it. His name’s Burr, he’s a lawyer, best I know. Which isn’t a compliment on his personality, the guy has no morals. He’ll fit whatever mold he needs to fit to win a case though.” They’re sitting in a little diner, John picking at the burger and fries in front of him while Alex talks and is on his third cup of coffee since they’d sat down. 

“Alex, I can’t afford..”

“John, please trust me on this.” He grabs his hand from where its picking at the fries, Alex’s thumb running over the knuckles and sending shivers down John’s spine. “Alright?” John pulls his hand away.

“I don’t want to put this on you Alex, I can’t just let you pay for this kind of thing, the groceries were one thing but this is so much more than that and you’ve already done more to help than you ever had to.”

“John, have you not been listening to me, Burr owes me big time. I’ve done more than a few pieces on him for big shot newspapers and blogs. No charge, I just told him I ever had legal trouble he’d have to represent me.”

“Exactly, you, not me.” Alex sighs loudly.

“Please let..”

“No, Alex, you have no obligation to do this. I get that you want to ‘save me’.” He adds air quotes with his fingers. “But this isn’t your fight. You barely know me and Francis and I don’t want you to throw that away on me. Please just stop before you dig yourself a hole and ruin your life trying to take care of me, I’m not a child.” John starts to slide out of the booth. “Thank you for lunch, but I have to pick Francis up.”

“John.” He doesn’t stop, just pulls his jacket on. Again he says it, “John.” John stands, pulls out his wallet and drops a few ones on the table. “John.” He grabs his sleeve but he just jerks away, offering no other acknowledgement that Alex has said or done anything. John is turning on his heel and disappears out the door. “John!” He practically shouts as he stands quickly and drops a twenty onto the table and Alex practically chases him out of the diner. John’s walking fast, hands shoved in his coat pockets. He runs to catch up, and then manages to keep his pace. “John, for fucks sake, now you’re acting like a child.”

“I spend most of my time with a 3 year old.” He counters. “It shouldn’t be a surprise.”

“John, what do you have against…” He stops in his tracks and turns to Alex, a finger poking his chest hard. 

“I’m not taking your fucking charity.” He says and Alex is taken aback, he’s never heard him curse before. “Why do you care so much? So you can come back in five years and claim I owe you.”

“No.” 

“I don’t owe you shit and I won’t owe you shit. So just leave me and Frances alone.” He turns to go and Alex grabs him by the arm and he turns. “What!” He shouted. “What else do you fucking want!” There are people staring, but neither can bring themselves to care.

“You called me!” He yells. “I was in fucking Washington, and you called me crying.” 

“I didn’t know you were Washington, I didn’t ask you to come back!”

“Then next time you need someone to pity you, call your fucking mother!” The anger in John’s face fades slightly. Then it flares back up.

“My mother’s dead, you asshole!” 

“So is mine!” John’s face falls, and Alex takes a step back.

“I don’t suppose you’ll tell me you haven’t talked to your father since high school.” He says, words laced poison and he practically spits it. 

“He left when I was ten.” John huffs and turns to leave. “I’m sorry.” Alex mutters. John doesn’t say anything else just resumes his walk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Eliza voice* "I'm not sorry."  
> OK, actually I kind of am. Also, I really need to come up with a better summary than the one I have right now. You think you don't know what's gonna happen next? I also have no idea.   
> As always, comments are my favorite things ever ((I kind of think they trump coffee now though because coffee has betrayed me twice this week because they put regular cream and I'm dying of lactose poisoning, not really dying, but I am lactose intolerant and I was in much pain.))


	10. Martha

The walk is quiet and John regrets everything, by the time he reaches the school he just wants to take everything he said back. He sits down on the steps, he still has about 40 minutes until Frances gets out. He doesn’t want to admit he’s sorry, doesn’t want to admit he’s wrong and he fights the urge to just call Alexander, to tell him he’s sorry and that he loves him, no he can’t say that, can’t tell him that, it’ll scare him away. John doesn’t want to be less than Alex, because if he was less than Alex, he couldn’t love him back, could never hope to ever have him reciprocate his feelings. At least they used to be friends, used to have an excuse to invite him to dinner. 

The bell rings and the students shuffle out of the building, Frances wrapping her arms around John’s neck again. 

“Hi sweetheart.” He says, kissing her forehead. “How was your day?” His anxiousness melts as they walk home and she talks about everything that happened, from lunch to the ladybug that she had caught.. Frances is his anchor, her tiny little being keeping him from losing his mind, with her he has a purpose, a reason for being a reason to continue on. She’s his little girl and he’d pluck the moon from the sky if that made her happy. 

“Daddy, why are you sad?” She asks as he unlocks the door.

“I’m not.” He’s always told her not to lie, but sometimes its better than the truth.

“Yes you are.”John shakes his head gently.

“No.” She huffs and crosses her arms over her chest.

“Yes you are!” She says stomping her foot in the doorway. “You aren’t supposed to lie, and I know you're sad.” He crouches down so he’s level with her.

“How do you know?” He asks and she pokes the corner of his eye.

“Your eyes are sad.” She’s an observant child, that’s not something he started noticing in people until he was more than twice her age. “Why are you sad?”

“Alex and I got in a fight.”

“Why?”

“It’s nothing you need to worry about ok?” She hugs him again. 

“I’m sorry you're sad.” He smiles.

“It’s alright sweetie.” 

Inside, Frances colors at the kitchen table while John folds laundry. He’s rolling socks together when the buzzer rings and he goes to answer the door. Slightly hopeful that it’s Alex, that he has a reason to say he’s sorry but instead he finds Martha, Frances’ mother standing there.

“How did you get my address?”

“Public records. Who was the man you were arguing with earlier?”

“No one.”

“Didn’t look like no one.” He clenches his jaw.

“Have you been following me?” 

“Depends.” Frances is suddenly standing next to him, hiding behind his legs.

“Daddy? Who’s that?’ Martha crouches down so that she’s level with Frances. 

“I’m your mom, what’s your name?.” Frances grabs one of John’s hands and inches farther behind him.

“No you’re not, I don’t have mom. Tell her daddy, tell her I don’t have a mom.” 

“Martha, this isn’t the time or place.” She stands. 

“As good a time as any.” 

“I’d actually like to talk to you, John. Like adults before you jump to conclusions.”

“Fine.” He says, gritting his teeth. “Frances, can you go play in your room for a little bit.” She collects her crayons and coloring book and goes to her bedroom as Martha sits down at the table. 

“When I said I wanted custody I didn’t mean sole custody, I realize now that I worded that incorrectly. That it may have seemed like an ambush.” She sighs as John sits down across from her. “I want to make things right.”

“Why now? You had no problem abandoning her before.” 

“I was scared, I was young, I didn’t understand what I was doing. I was a stupid 21 year old.”

“I was 19 when it happened, 20 when I got Frances. You know they didn’t have a name on the birth certificate, just our names and I didn’t even know your name until they showed up at my house.” 

“I’m sorry, I should have told you, we could have gotten married, raised her together.” John shook his head, half laughing. “What?”

“I’m gay Martha.” She leans back in her chair.

“That actually explains a lot.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Why you left that night, why you never tried to find me.” 

“I didn’t think you wanted to be found, and I had more important things to do, keeping a job, taking care of Frances.”

“I’d like to be a part of her life, at least while I can.” She pauses, and swallows. “I’m sorry, do you have any water?” John stands and gets her a glass. As he sits back down she swallows it down quickly. “I’m sick.” She finally says. “Like 6 months to live, sick. I don’t want us to be enemies John, and I want to be more than just an unemployed girl living with her parents.” She sighs. “I don’t mean to guilt trip you, I just want to lay out all my cards. I’m not looking for a fight and I want us to get along, I want her to remember me.” She’s got tears trickling down her cheeks. “I want to see her grow up, even though I know I never will.” She wipes at her eyes, makeup smudging a bit as she does. “I’ll leave if you want me to leave, right now. I’ll get up and walk away and you won’t see me again.” He shakes his head. 

“You can spend all the time you want here.” He says softly, and she smiles a bit. “I’m so sorry Martha, I wish there was something I could do.”

“You are, you’re letting me be a mom.” She stands and presses a kiss to John’s forehead. “It’ll only be a few months.” She sniffles. “Four at the most before I’m bed bound, I’ll move back home before then though. I don’t want her to remember me like that.” John nods towards Frances’ room and she goes through the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not really sure how I feel about this, but yeah, John hardly knows the poor woman but turns out she's not the evil being who was trying to steal your daughter away, instead she just wants a final chance at doing the right thing.  
> No Alex this chapter though. He'll be around soon enough.


	11. Late Nights

It’s three days later when the doorbell rings again. John turned the spare room into a bedroom for Martha. The babysitter had been called and informed that she wouldn’t be needed for a few months. Martha had been picked Frances up from school that afternoon, John hadn’t gotten home yet and Frances was fast asleep in her room. Martha was waiting up for him, they still didn’t really understand each other. The silences between the two of them was still heavy, and it made John feel like a stranger in his own home. He wasn’t home when the buzzer rang though. and she hesitated to answer it, unsure of what to do, but decided it was likely one of John’s friends and that they likely wouldn’t be laying off the button for a while and it would wake Frances up so she got up, leaving her book on the coffee table. 

“Where’s John?” The man in the door frame slurred, obviously drunk, it was the same man she’d seen John yelling at on the street. 

“He’s at work. What do you need?” The man leans heavily against the doorframe, staring at his shoes.

“What are you doing here?” He says, ignoring her question.

“I live here, for now.” He raises his head, eyebrows knitting in confusion.

“No, you don’t.”

“I moved in a few days ago.”

“No, John lives by himself, just him and Frances.” 

“I’m Frances’ mother.” She says and he jerks his head up all the way.

“This is your fault, you’re the one trying to..” He tries to straighten himself so he isn’t leaning on the doorway but, unable to keep his balance he falls backwards onto the ground.

“Oh my gosh, are you alright?” She crouches down to help him up but he pulls away.

“You did this!” He practically shouts. “You’re the reason he hates me. You’re trying to steal Frances.”

“I’m not.” She says shaking her head. “I swear I’m not.”

“Where’s Frances!” She doesn’t say anything because behind him John is coming up the steps, though he doesn’t seem to notice. “What did you do to her!” There’s a hand on Alex’s shoulder and he jerks his head to see him.

“Alex, it’s alright.” He scrambles to his feet, still barely staying upright. “Go on inside Martha, I’ll worry about Alexander.” As Martha heads to bed John sighs heavily.

“John, she’s…”

“I know Alex, but I didn’t know the whole story before. Come on.” He takes him by the hand and leads him inside. 

“John, I’m sorry, I’m sorry about everything.” He’s drunk, his words slur together, his eyes can’t focus. They enter the living room and Alex is tripping over his feet. “John, I didn’t mean…”

“Shhhh, it’s alright. You were trying to help, it’s alright.” He sits him down on the couch and starts to take of his shoes. “Lie down, ok. We can talk about this in the morning.” 

“In the morning.” He repeats as he leans to one side and falls face first into the couch. 

“I’ll be right back.” He goes to the kitchen to get water and to his own room to get a blanket. Alex has shed the coat he was wearing it lies in a pile on the floor, and he’s sitting up again. “Alex, you need to get some sleep.” 

“I came here for a reason, there was, there was something.” He pauses, his face tight as he tries to remember. John wraps the blanket around his shoulders and as he does Alex’s hands move forward, and pull him closer, lips meeting. Alex’s eyes shut but John’s are wide open and he pushes him away. 

“Stop, Alexander, you’re drunk.” He says and Alex looks hurt, John wants this more than anything in the world, but he also doesn’t want Alexander to regret anything in the morning, doesn’t want to lose him anymore than he already has. “We’ll talk in the morning, ok?” Alex nods and as John stands he kisses his forehead and Alex lies down, wrapping the blanket around himself. 

 

He wakes with bile in his throat in a place he only barely knows, and rushes to the kitchen to heave into the trashcan. Trying to keep the hair out of his face. 

“I swear to god, I’m going to renounce drinking forever.” He says to no one after he’s spit into the garbage bag. He rinses his mouth out with sink water, hands shaking slightly as he ties the trash bag closed and stumbles outside to deposit it in the dumpster. He can’t remember how he got to John’s, just remembers the bar, and way too many drinks and the pretty bartender with wavy hair and bright lipstick flirting with him. As he sits back down on the couch, he notices a full glass of water on the table along with a bottle of tylenol, he swallows two pills, chasing them with the water, and leans forward, elbows on his knees and his palms pressed against his eyes. 

“Hey.” The voice is soft behind him and he turns to see John standing in the hallway.

“Hey.” Alex offers. “I’m sorry about last night, I don’t really remember what happened.”

“You just showed up and started apologizing, scared Martha half to death though when you yelled at her.”

“Martha?”

“Frances’ mom.”

“Why was she here?”

“She’s living here, we talked some things over and decided it was best for Frances.” So they’re back together, Alex thinks. It shouldn’t hit him as hard as it does, that John was never into him, that he’s back together with Frances’ mom.

“Oh.” John nods, and sits heavily down next to him, leaning forward as well.

“Do you remember anything from last night?” He emphasizes the word ‘anything’ and Alex draws a hand down his face and then rubs his temples.

“No. Tell Martha I’m sorry though.” He stands and toes on his shoes. “I have to go.” He picks up the jacket but doesn’t put it on before the door slams shut behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think today's gonna be a double update day because I have to babysit tonight. Have fun with that ending though, I actually feel kinda bad leaving it like that.


	12. Sad Mornings

When Alex gets home he slams the door hard, throwing his coat to the floor and falling backwards against the door. He slams his head back against the wood, grateful for the pain that blossoms there. It's a distraction from the other pain. The pain that shouldn’t hurt as much as it did, because he shouldn’t have allowed the school boy crush to grow into anything else. John’s not mad at him anymore, he isn’t sure if that's worse or not though, at least then they had a reason to avoid each other. He slams his fist back against the door and slides down until he’s sitting in a crumpled mess on the floor. 

He wishes he’d never gone out last night, wishes he’d just taken Peggy to the hospital, wishes he’d never accepted dinner, wishes John could have stayed as just a strange night in the middle of winter. For a fleeting moment he wishes that John had gone a few more homes down, not noticed his lights, crashed into someone else's life. There were so many sad love songs that revolved around summer turning to fall, yet as winter warmed to spring whatever he had for John was dying.

“Stop it!” He shouted at himself. He could feel the warm tears streaking down his cheeks and wiped them away, trying to take deep breaths. “Stop it, stop crying over someone who won’t love you.” He whispered the last words to himself.  Perhaps for John and Martha that's what it was, a new beginning for the two of them as spring came, they’d raise Frances, she’d grow into a wonderful adult, maybe they’d have another kid, hell, maybe they’d have six. John would be happy, Frances would have a proper family. John deserved to be happy, and Alex couldn’t bring himself to be mad at John, he was mad at himself for thinking that he’d make an exception for Alex, why he’d ever thought that was beyond him. His phone buzzed, and he picked it up. 

_ You get home ok? _

_ -John _

He shoots back a one word reply, “Yeah” and throws the phone across the room, it lands on the couch and he’s slightly mad he didn’t hurl it at the wall, letting the screen explode into a thousand tiny fractures. 

He has work to do, but he’s hungover and the closest deadline is in 2 days, so he stands, wiping his face on the sleeve of his shirt, grabs the phone and heads to his bedroom. He doesn’t bother to turn on the light as he enters, just drops the phone on the nightstand, and strips down to his boxer briefs. Peeling out his contacts and tossing the into the trash, he’s been wearing them for twice the recommended time, before climbing into the bed. Wrapping the covers around him and trying to ignore the throbbing in his head and the ache in his chest. 

* * *

 

John isn’t entirely sure what to think when Alexander leaves, looking more upset than anything else as he exits. Leaving John to the sleepy apartment. He’s got a little over an hour before he has to wake Frances up for school, so he makes coffee for him and Martha, though she’d slept late the last 2 days. He silently hoped she’d be up before Frances, he needed to talk to someone about Alexander. He’s in luck and she comes in a few minutes later, in all her oversized t-shirt and fuzzy pajama pants glory. He’s pulled on a hoodie so he’s no longer as indecent.

“Morning.” She mutters as he pours her a cup. 

“Alexander apologized for last night.” 

“Is he still here?”

“No.” 

“I’m sorry about whatever happened between the two of you, were you dating or something?” John shakes his head. “No, he, I don’t know. He’s Alexander. I don’t think he’d date me, probably more of ‘friends with benefits’ if it ever turned into anything.” She’s pulled herself up onto the counter.

“Why do you say that?”

“He’s young, successful, I couldn’t give him anything.”

“John, you’re what? 24?”

“23.”

“I think he’s older than you if anything.”

“He doesn’t have someone relying on him, and he doesn’t want that kind of baggage.”

“How do you know?”

“Because no one wants that, no one wants to date a twenty something with a kid and a job that barely scrapes by.”

“I saw what happened last night, with you two. Why didn’t you talk this morning?” He sighs, setting the coffee mug down.

“He forgot. Didn’t even remember getting here, didn’t remember yelling at you. Whatever it looked like last night, it wasn’t anything but lack of inhibitions due to alcohol.” He sniffles, he’s not going to cry, because he doesn’t care what Alexander thinks of him, he doesn’t. Who’s he trying to kid, of course he does, and he closes his eyes in a futile attempt to the stop the tears from falling. 

“Oh, sweetie.” Martha hops off the counter and hugs him, it’s awkward, they’ve barely touched as it is, and this is just weird for the both of them, but John can’t bring himself to care as he tightens an arm around her. “You’ve got it bad.” He nods into her shoulder and she rubs his back. “I’m sorry if I did something to cause tension between you two.”

“No, that was taken care of. Miscommunication from both of us. Not your fault.”

“I’m still sorry.” She says clutching him just a little bit tighter. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the sort of late and kind of short update, also sorry in general because writing the first part of this chapter gave me feels. However, as an apology gift, I have officially started a writing blog and it's oncetherelivedaboy.tumblr.com if you're interested. So if you want to talk to me on there or have any prompts or anything feel free to send them that way. 
> 
> Insert Obligatory "I love comments" spiel because comments are the best. Seriously, this fic started as a one shot and now 15,000 words and 2000 hits later and I'm just like "wow!" and everyone is always so nice on here and I honestly don't think I could ever convey how much it means to me when you take time out of your day to read this or how amazing I feel every time I get an email about a new comment. Its literally the highlight of my day. So, thank you.


	13. Cereal

Angelica is sitting at the foot of the bed, and Peggy has a box of cheerios in one hand as she places them all over Alexander’s sleeping form. 

“String some in his hair?” Angelica suggests and Peggy grins at her as she plops cross legged next to him and works her fingers through his hair, separating it into 3 long strands, she treads the cereal into it and begins to braid it, after each time she crosses it over she adds another piece to the middle strand. Angelica has a nail polish brush in one hand, in the other the lid and her arm it stretched out as she applies the bright orange paint to her toenails. She curses when she gets some on her skin and leans forward to wipe it away with the tip of her finger, promptly loses her balance and manages to fall sideways onto Alex’s legs, who groans loudly and starts to move, scattering the cheerios.

“What the fuck are you doing in my house?” He asks, as he tries to find his glasses on the nightstand. 

“Got bored.” Peggy says, picking up a piece of cereal and popping it into her mouth.

“New question, how did you get in my house?”

“Angie wanted me to practice lock picking.” His hand lands on the glasses case as he puts them on.

“Why is there cereal all over my bed?” Peggy shrugs and drops a few more pieces into her mouth. 

“Like I said, we were bored.”

“Don’t make this a ‘we’, you’re the one who wanted to break in.” Angelica says.

“I don’t see you stopping her.” Alexander adds as he sits up, keeping the blankets wrapped around his chest. “Do you mind atleast waiting in the living room while I get dressed.”

“Peggy’s ace, I don’t think she really cares.”

“True.” She says.

“And it’s not like we didn’t use to ‘date’.” She puts airquotes around the word.

“I would not classify our relationship as dating.” He says, dangling over the side of the bed, to retrieve a t-shirt from the floor, blanket still wrapped around him as he pulls it on.

“Hand me the sweatpants there.” He says, pointing at the pair bunched up at the end of the bed. Peggy is still picking at the scattered cereal, as Angelica passes them to him, making Alexander cringe.

“What? It’s cereal.”

“That is anything but sanitary.”

“I’ve been stabbed before and this is seriously what you think is going to do me in.” He shrugs.

“Killed by cereal, what a way to go.” He tugs the sweatpants on under the covers, and then throws them back so that they land on Angelica.

“Hey! You fucked up my nails.”

“You fucked up my sleep.”

“It’s noon.”

“Do I look like I care? Please tell me you made coffee.” He’s grabbing a hoodie from a pile of clothes across the room and attempting to find a pair of matching socks, he really needs to do laundry. 

“Nope, but I’m sure Peggy would love to run and get some.” Peggy groans and drops the cereal box on the nightstand, as Angelica fishes out a twenty to give her.

“Seriously Ange?”

“You didn’t go for a run this morning, this’ll make up for it.” She huffs and snatches the money from her hand, before grabbing one of Alexander’s discarded blazers, his bedroom floor is barely visible, clothes is just everywhere, and pulls it on over her bright yellow short sleeved button up and the layered black skirt. The outfit reminds him slightly of a bumble bee.

“Hey!” He shouts, but she’s out the bedroom door before he can protest further about her stealing his clothes. Angie waits until she hears the main door slam shut before turning to Alexander. 

“Spill, what happened last night?”

“Nothing happened last night.”

“Really? Nothing happened, because 14 calls and a voicemail from you last night say something happened.”

“This is not a conversation I want to have without caffeine.” 

“This is also not a conversation you want to have with Peggy around.” He huffs, blowing a bit of hair out of his face. 

“Fine, last night was fuzzy, all I know was that I showed up at John’s yelled at his girlfriend and passed out on his couch.”

“When did he get a girlfriend?”

“I don’t know, a couple days ago, it’s Frances’ mom.”

“Oh.”

“Oh, what?” 

“In your,” She pauses and sits back down on the bed. “In the voicemail you said you kissed him, and that he…” Panic explodes in his chest, and he stands straight up, dropping the socks he’s found. 

“No, no, no, no, no, god please no.” He’s pacing now, his hands tugging at his hair.

“Alexander.” She grabs him by the arm and he pulls away.

“What did I do, oh god, he hates me, that’s why he was weird this morning when I said I didn’t remember, he was relieved that he didn’t- oh god, Angie. What am I going to tell him, I have to apologize, or he’ll think I’m some kind of guy who just..” 

“Alex.” She grabs him again, a hand on either of his arms and pulls him into her chest. “It’s going to be ok.” He shakes his head, a tries to get away but she’s surprisingly strong and just holds him there.

“No it isn’t.”

“Alex, you need to calm down, it’s going to be alright.” 

“What am I going to do?”

“Nothing, pretend it didn’t happen, if he has a girlfriend don’t mess with it.” Alex nods. “It’s going to be alright, there are lots of other cute freckled boys, and I know you really like him, but you can’t break someone up just because you like them.” He nods again, and she steps away. “I’d say we could go for drinks tonight but I feel like last night was spurned by similar action.”

“Yeah.” He says, wiping his nose on his sleeve. 

“After we both get some work done, because I know you have projects to work on, we can have a movie night, Peggy and I will bring the food, you pick the movies. Sound good?”

“Better than the plans I had.”

“Which were?”

“Wallowing in self pity.” She kisses the top of his head. 

“Even broken hearts heal.” He punches her arm lightly.

“Don’t be cliche.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this isn't the end, more stuff is going to arise forcing John and Alex to interact again. Dear lord these two suck at communicating (yes I know I'm the one who made them bad at communicating). Alex is totally not cool about any of this but at least the guys respectful enough to go around and break up people he thinks are now a couple, even though they totally aren't. Seriously if this was a video game their communication skills would be like -5.  
> Comments as always are super hella awesome and much appreciated by yours truly, and as mentioned last chapter my writing blog is oncetherelivedaboy.tumblr.com if your interested, and with that feel free to send me prompts or anything like that, I will happily talk for hours about Hamilton.


	14. Chapter 14

A few weeks have passed since Alex kissed him, since practical radio silence from his end. John texts, attempts to make conversation, doesn’t bring up what happened, doesn’t want Alex to think he’s that desperate for affection, for someone else in his life, doesn’t want to lose what they have even it is barely enough to constitute a friendship. He only shoots back short replies, John doesn’t push, he’ll ask about his day, Alexander will say it was ok, he doesn’t ask about John’s. John pretends it doesn’t upset him.

It's a cooler morning compared to warmer weather they’ve had the last couple of weeks and when he goes to wake Martha up in the morning shortly before he leaves, she barely lifts her head when he enters and she buries her face back into a pillow when he turns on the light.

“You feeling ok?” She shakes her head, no, but doesn’t say anything. He flips the light back off. This is her first real bad day, all she’d said was that it was a brain tumor and John hadn’t want to push, she was already upset at the time. “I’ll take Frances in before I go to work.”

“Thank you.” She replies softly.

“You think you’ll be able to pick her up after school?”

“I don’t know.” Her voice sounds slightly hoarse.

“I’ll see if someone can pick her up.” She nods and pulls the covers back up over her head.

“Text me if no one can. I’ll do my best.” She says, her soft voice muffled by the covers.

“Do you need anything before I get her up?”

“No.” He closes the door quietly and moves to Frances’ room.

John rushes slightly to get her ready for school, normally he’d do two braids but they have to be out the door at a certain time for him to get to work on time, so today it just lies in curly waves down her back. He kisses her good-bye at the school, they have a breakfast program for kids who get there early and Frances would get when he had to be at work early, and takes off down the sidewalk. He walks quickly, not quite running as he dials the old babysitter’s number.

“Hey, it’s John.”

“I’m not babysitting for another week.” She says and hangs up before John can even ask. He doesn’t want to ask Alex if he’s busy, he certainly doesn’t want seem rude, but they already have his name on file, so all he has to do is let the school know. He pushes down everything and dials the number. It rings. Once. Twice. Three times. There a slightly groggy voice on the other end.

“John?”

“Yeah.” There’s the sound of a second voice and he hears Alex chuckle slightly and mutter something back, he’s pretty sure it’s french but he’s rusty.

“Everything alright?”

“I need someone to pick up Frances after school.”

“Did something happen with Martha?”

“No, she’s just not feeling the best right now. It would only be for like an hour and a half, I get off at 4 today. I can make dinner as compensation.”

“I can’t really do dinner tonight, I’ve got plans, but yeah I can pick her up.” He makes it to the station with enough time to get changed into his uniform before his shift starts.

“Thank you, seriously you’re awesome.”

“No problem.” The call ends and John shoves the phone into his pocket as he makes for the locker rooms.

* * *

 

Alex hits the end call button and rolls over, to face Lafayette, who is playing a game on his phone and is propped up against the pillows. He’d spent the night for no reason in particular, just showed up at Alex’s around 11 the night before and had made himself at home, making himself boxed macaroni and cheese, and complaining about his roommate,Thomas Jefferson, who had about 15 different macaroni and cheese recipes he could rattle off at any given time. It was all friendly banter, the two were best friends, Alex secretly hated the guy even though he and Jefferson played nice when around Lafayette.

“When do I get to meet this John?” He asked, leaning forward to kiss Alex’s cheek, facial hair tickling his cheek.

“Not today.” Alex said.

“Why not?” He asked, pulling away as Alex searched for a shirt on the floor, sure he’d spent all night topless and it wasn’t like Lafayette hadn’t seen him before, but he felt exposed, especially now that they weren’t both asleep in darkness, and as long as Lafayette was in his bed, warm as a goddamn space heater, he was in danger of falling back asleep, and he wasn’t sure he was comfortable with that. He found an old college t-shirt kicked just under the bed in a wad and pulled in on, replying with:

“Because I’m picking his daughter up from school.” Lafayette let out a long sigh.

“Is he straight?”

“Yeah, and he got back with his kids’ mom.”

“Alex, for god sake what is wrong with you?” He shrugged and simply wrapped himself back around Lafayette, who practically ignored him and continued to play on his phone using Alex’s shoulder to balance the device. “You said you had dinner plans, who with?”

“No one.” Alex mutters. “Didn’t want to have dinner with him and his girlfriend.”

“Rouleau de cannelle pauvre.”

“I’m not a cinnamon roll you prick.” Alex said, sitting up, another hour or two of sleep completely forgotten. “Speaking of pastries, there's a bakery a few blocks over.” Alex would swear he saw Lafayette’s ears perk up. “Homemade Pączkis.”

“Sounds promising, get dressed, I’ll buy.” Lafayette said, pushing Alex off of his chest as he went to gather his own clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pączkis is pronounced like "pooch keys", and they're these polish donut things, and they're freaking amazing, I'm like a quarter Polish and my great grandmother used to get them for me and my sister when we visited and they are literally amazing and if you ever get the chance to get them I highly recommend trying them.  
> Low quality and Low quantity, also late. Sorry about not updating yesterday. BUT HEY!! My BS of a spring break starts today. So I've got until Monday night to get as much shit as I can done, which means I'll probs just lay around my house or play skyrim even though I have a ridiculous amount of things to write, both fanfiction and original works.  
> Comment spiel time, as always they are my amazing and always appreciated and seriously I love them with all my heart and soul because they let me know that people aren't just like clicking on the story and being like "ehhh" AND YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS SO NICE IN YOUR COMMENTS AND I REALLY WANT TO HUG EVERYONE WHO LEAVES COMMENTS, I want to hug everyone else too, but especially those who leave comments, you guys have hug priority.


	15. Chapter 15

Eliza smiles at him when he comes in to pick Frances up, her eyes warm as he hands her back the signed form and clipboard.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t be around.” Alex shrugs as Frances grabs his hand, grinning up at him. 

“Piggyback ride?” She asks, and Eliza heads back inside as Alex hoists her onto his back. Her arms are slightly too tight around his neck but he doesn’t say anything about it as they walk about and she chatters on about her day, talking about how she’d had pancakes for breakfast at the school and that she got to pick out the book Ms.Sky read before naptime. At the door to John’s building he sets Frances down and she hands him the keys that are at the bottom of her backpack so that Alex can let them in.

The apartment is quiet, up until Frances races down the hallway to the door at the end of the hall, shedding her shoes, coat and backpack as she goes. The doorknob is just above her head and she struggles to turn it, but manages to get it before Alex reaches her and then she hurries inside. He stands in the doorway, there’s a large pile of blankets and he can see a head of light brown hair. When Frances climbs up onto the bed, she stirs, waking up slowly as Frances squirms under the covers and curls up against her.

“Hi sweetheart.” Martha says, still obviously half asleep and her voice slightly hoarse. “Is your dad back?” 

“No, Alex brought me home.” 

“Where’s Alex?” 

“I’m here.” Alex offers and she lifts her head to look at him. “Sorry for that whole fiasco a few weeks ago.”

“That’s alright. Thanks for bringing Frances home, you can stay if you’d like, John won’t be home for another hour though.”

“I can keep an eye on Frances until he gets back if you’re sick.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s not a problem get some rest.” She smiles at him and it seems so genuine, and it makes Alex wish he could hate her, because it would be so much easier if he could hate the woman John is with. 

“Frances, sweetie, why don’t you go play with Alex for a little bit.”

“Ok.” Martha kisses her cheek and Frances climbs out of the covers, but wraps her arms around her Mom’s neck and kisses her cheek before climbing off the bed. She goes to Alex and shuts the door softly before leading him to her room. 

Martha ends up getting up before John gets back, dressed in a pair of worn jeans and a pale blue sweater. Frances clings to her neck when she picks her up. Alex wonders how the lttle girl has processed all of this, she seems to accept pretty easily that the woman cares for her, but he wonders how she’ll see this when she’s older, if she’ll just see Martha as a constant. He has noticed that she doesn’t call her mom, just Martha, or miss Manning, perhaps she doesn’t know yet. 

“I should probably go.” Alex says, picking up his jacket from the back of a chair,

“Alex you can stay until John gets here, I’m sure he’d be glad to see you.” He wants to stay and see John, no matter how much it wil hurt to see him and Martha, but he also knows that in doing so he’ll reopen wounds that have no right to be there, and that are way too fresh. 

“I really shouldn’t, I was cutting it close when I said I could stay.”

“I hope to see more of you Alex.” She says smiling at him, he wishes she’d stop smiling at him because he smiles back.

“Bye Alex.” Frances says, waving to him.

“Bye cheri.” He says as he pulls his jacket on, and gives her a little wave. She beams in response and waves faster. 

As the door closes behind him he sighs heavily and starts down the short hallway. Halfway there the door opens and John’s in the hallway with him. Alex notices him first as John closes the door behind him, and then he lifts his head and a smile cracks apart his face. Why was everyone suddenly smiling at him, smiling didn’t reassure him. 

“Alex! I assume Martha’s up then.”

“Yeah.” His hair is pulled back into a tight ponytail, in all its curly glory, his jacket it unbuttoned and his adam's apple bobs as he swallows. “I can’t really stay, I’ve got to go.” The smile falters and dear lord Alex wants to make him smile again, because anything is better than that hurt puppy look, the same look he gave him on the sidewalk all those weeks ago.

“You said that on the phone, got a date or something?”

“Yes.” Alex lies, and the smile disappears entirely.

“Oh,” Oh god, he hates being the one who makes him look like that. “I hope it goes well.” He’s looking at the floor now, and if Alex knew better he’d think he was upset by that idea.

“I was kidding.” Alex says quickly. “It’s work stuff, meeting with someone who might offer a contract.”

“Let me know how it goes.” John says, seeming to perk back up. 

“Probably won’t take it either way. I’ll see you later John.” He gives him a short wave and then heads out the door, barely hearing John’s goodbye. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this was kind of deja vu to like chapter 5, and I'm sorry about that. God these two just need to figure their shit out though because they are a Mess, capitol M. Jesus Christ how did this hit 3000 reads, seriously makes me want to cry and everyone is great and amazing and beautiful and I love you!!!!   
> Comments my dudes, they are great. Hugs for everyone.


	16. Phone Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His phone rings on the nightstand one morning and it's John, Alex half expects him to ask him to pick Frances up again, he can’t bring himself to feel bothered, though Lafayette certainly is when the phone wakes him. He grabs it and before he can get a greeting out John says, very quickly and the words run together. “Doyouwanttogooutfordrinkstomorrownight?”
> 
> “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”

John’s been texting him the last few days, Alex lied and told him the dinner went well but he hadn’t ended up taking the contract. He’s ahead of work, and Lafayette’s been spending the night more frequently, and Alex has grown accustomed to waking up with Lafayette curled around him. 

His phone rings on the nightstand one morning and it's John, Alex half expects him to ask him to pick Frances up again, he can’t bring himself to feel bothered, though Lafayette certainly is when the phone wakes him. He grabs it and before he can get a greeting out John says, very quickly and the words run together. “Doyouwanttogooutfordrinkstomorrownight?” 

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” 

“Um, do you want to go out for drinks tomorrow night, I get off at 5 and have the next day off and I was wondering if you wanted to go to a club or something?” Is he hearing this right? Is John? No, he can’t be. “Martha’s going to take care of Frances and it’d be nice to have a night out with you.” He’d almost forgot about Martha and as much he wants to guard himself he can’t say no, not again, even the thought of seeing him drop a smile makes him want to kick himself. 

“Sure, I don’t have any plans for tomorrow.”

“Alex, shhh, I’m trying to sleep.” Lafayette says.

“Who’s that?” John asks and Lafayette curls closer.

“A friend of mine’s been crashing here, but he refuses to sleep in the living room because he saw a spider in there once.” He directs the last bit more at Lafayette than John.

“Shut up, I fear no man.” Lafayette mutters. “And spiders are not men.”

“Anyway.” Alex says. “Meet at my place tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you then.” Alex shuts the phone and barely reaches the nightstand to drop the phone back there, what with the human space heater wrapped around him. 

“Little Alex has a date.” Lafayette jokes, still half asleep.

“It’s not a date. Now get off me I have to pee.” 

“Sounds alot like a date to me.” He says ignoring the second statement, forcing Alex to try to wrestle his way out of the limbs.

“You suck, you know that right?” Lafayette chuckles as Alex finally topples off the bed and onto the floor. “And you are not staying tomorrow night.”

“Awww, come on, I want to meet John, and I have that night off.” 

“No.” He says, making his way to the bathroom. “Last thing I need is for him to think I’m dating someone.”

“Maybe it’ll make him jealous.” Lafayette shouts as the bathroom door is closed.

“You do realize how ridiculous that sounds.” He puts his contacts in, hadn’t even bothered with his glasses earlier. 

“Well he’s dating someone and it’s making you jealous.”

“That tactic doesn’t work on straight boys who aren’t single Laf.”

“I refuse to acknowledge your lack of faith in me making people jealous.”

“Will you let me pee in peace, please.” 

“No, and why are we shouting!”

“Because you don’t want to get out of my fucking bed!” Lafayette rolled over so that he was lying flat on his back, stretching his arms so he took up most of the bed. He was quiet for a moment, and then the door opened back up, revealing a still very disheveled Alex who groaned at the sight of him.

“Mon amour, most of my audience would give anything to share a bed with me.”

“Not after the last week I’ve had.” He said huffing and Lafayette moved so that there was a spot next to him and opened his arms so that Alex could crawl back in under the covers. “Seriously Laf.” He said letting his rest on Lafayette’s shoulder. “Why are you suddenly spending so much time here?” Lafayette sighed. 

“It’s not important, mon amour.”

“Look, I’m not going to kick you out if something is wrong but you also can’t just live here indefinitely.”

“Thomas kicked me out.”

“What! Why?” Lafayette shrugs. 

“Wants to move his boyfriend in and apparently Madison has a thing against my profession, never said anything before then.”

“Laf.” He says, looking somewhat stunned. “I’m sorry, do you want me to help you find a place, Hercules’ roommate just moved out, I’m sure if he doesn’t already have someone lined up you can move in there.” He turns to grab his phone off the dresser. “I’ll call him now, ok?” Lafayette looks on the verge of tears.

“Thanks.”

* * *

 

John blames this whole situation on Martha, who has managed to convince him that Alex is atleast a little bit interested in him, and somehow now he’s asking him to drinks the next evening, and he expects him to say no, to say he’s busy, instead he says yes and then he hears someone else, the same someone else who he’d heard the other day, the voice is the same, deep french accents probably aren’t popular enough for it to be a different someone else. 

“Meet at my place tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” John stutters out. “I’ll see you then.” The call ends and he nearly collapses against the counter and Martha is laughing at him, braiding Frances hair as she eats her breakfast. 

“Looks like you’ve got a date.” Martha says, tying off the first braid.

“Daddy has a date!”

“I don’t know if he got that I was asking him out, there was someone else there.” 

“John, it’s a date. Be excited and flustered and for god's sake kiss the man!”

“Kiss the man!” Frances yells, imitating Martha.

“You are a terrible influence on her.” John jokes and Martha finishes the second braid.

“Get me a hair tie.” She says and John just pulls one from his wrist and hands it to her.

“I have to go.” He leans down and kisses Frances forehead.

“Bye daddy.” She says grabbing his shirt so that he leans down so she can kiss his cheek. 

“Bye sweetheart.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapters, I ended up going to St.Louis last night really last minute and the chapter from last night was written while on the road and then posted while at my great aunts house and then we came back home. This chapter however was mostly written while at home and I'm posting it while babysitting because the children have long since been asleep and I actually have time to get things done, wow, yay, go me. Happy, kind of early, easter. Eggs and stuff, you know. I slept until like 10 today because I was dead after driving back last night.  
> Comments are great, they're like easter eggs and when you open your email and have a new one it's like a little piece of candy just waiting inside. Okay so maybe metaphors aren't my strong suit, but you know what I mean, I've gone the same spiel like 15 other times because you all leave the best comments.


	17. Not a Date

It's not a date. It’s not a date. It’s not a date. Alexander has to tell himself this over and over again as he gets ready. He takes a shower, and then spends an obscene amount of time blow drying his hair only to pull it back into a ponytail before he quickly cleans his bedroom, tossing most of the discarded clothes into a hamper that he’ll wash at a later time. He moves around the rest of the apartment next in a pair of baggy sweatpants and a tank-top to pick up things and make sure his work printouts and other papers aren’t simply scattered across everything and instead centralizes it all to his office, it had originally been a spare bedroom but he’d had no use for that when he moved in. When the apartment is practically spotless, save for the office which he firmly shuts the door too, he heads back to his bedroom to get dressed. He’s already decided on a pair jeans but he spends some time picking out a shirt, eventually deciding on a light blue blazer over a white shirt. He’s contemplating what he’s going to do with his hair when the doorbell rings and he sees it's nearly a quarter after six.

John’s wearing that gray v-neck that Alex gave him that first morning, and oh god there is not nearly enough skin exposed for the things that it’s causing to run through Alex’s mind.

“Hey.”  He says smiling and it makes Alex wish he could kiss him again, so that this time he could remember exactly what it was like.

“Hey.”Alex breathes in reply, barely getting the words out as he steps out the way to let John inside.

“How have you been?” John asks, tugging on a curl that escaped his ponytail as he stands in the middle of Alex’s living room.

“Good, I’ve been taking a few extra jobs, helped a friend move yesterday afternoon.” John nods, and tucks the stray hair behind his ear, watching Alex as he takes his hair down and wraps it into a tight bun at the back of his head. “Have you had dinner yet, because I would kill for pizza right now.” John chuckles at that and Alex isn’t entirely sure why but his laugh is soft and light and he can’t bring himself to care about the reason.

“No, I was hoping we could get something.”

“Ever been to Nino’s?”

“Can’t say I have.” Alex snatches up his jacket out the closet and shoves his wallet and phone into the pocket.

“You have any complaints about pizza, the place is great.”

“Nope, sounds good to me.”

The walk isn’t exceptionally long, just a few blocks down and Alex can’t stop thinking about the arm that John has linked with his own, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. Alex can feel his face and ears heating up as they walk. A man scowls at them as they pass and John moves his arm, letting it come to rest at his side and Alex is more than a little disappointed to lose the point of contact, though John moves a little bit closer so that their shoulders brush.  Alex tries not to overthink it.

When they arrive Alex orders at the front while John grabs a table. He carries the two plates back to where John’s sitting. It isn’t a fancy restaurant by any means but if Alex really wanted a fancy meal he’d hassle Angelica about it and besides, John seemed content as he folded his own pizza.

“Holy shit this is good.” He said and Alex laughed when the cheese wouldn’t snap and John just kept pulling away from the slice to try to get it to break.

“If it warrants you cursing I don’t think there's any doubt.” Alex said taking a bite of his own. “Have I ever actually heard….” He then remembers standing on the sidewalk as they shouted angrily back and forth. “Nevermind.” John’s ears have gone red.

“I don’t think I ever apologized for all that.” Alex waves him off.

“I was hurt at the time, it’s not a big deal.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“You were panicking, I don’t take it personally.” He pauses for a moment. “How’s that all going with Martha?”

“It’s fine, she’s not at all bad once you get to know her, she just wants to do the right thing for Frances.” Alex nods, slightly regretting bringing the subject up but at the same time continuing to pry.

“So I guess it all worked out for you two, not to pry or anything but are you going to get married.” John practically drops his pizza.

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

“Well I mean, she’s Frances’ mom.”

“We’re not dating.” Alex looks taken aback, eyebrows pushed down.

“You’re not?”

“No.”

“Oh.” Alex leans back a bit. “I just kind of assumed.” John takes a deep breath and sets his pizza down.

“I’m gay.”

“Oh.” The tone is different, where before it had been quizzical, this one is almost an affirmation. John’s set the slice down and has his hands on his knees.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I thought you already knew.” John;s staring at the floor, face bright and eyes looking glassy as if any second now tears will fall. Alex reaches across the table, a finger hooked under John’s chin and lifts it slightly.

“It’s alright, I’m bi.” A pause and then. “Can I kiss you?”John blinks thinking that this can’t be happening, that there's no way this is real, but nods gently and Alex kisses him. It’s soft, nothing like the roughness that Alex had kissed him with the weeks before, his lips are warm, and slightly chapped, John doesn’t mind.

“I thought you were so straight. I’ve been wanting to do that since the first night.” Alex blurts the moment they break apart and John just leans forward to catch his lips in another kiss, he wasn't quite ready for the last one to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it finally happened, however this is NOT, the end, there are still some things to take care and there's been a big thing I've been hinting at about Alex since the beginning but it hasn't been stated outright, yet. BUT AHHHHHH 20000 words in and we finally get a totally sober, totally real kiss, YAYY!!! Is this slow burn? I have no idea what the technicalities for things like that are. I start school again tomorrow *cries into pillow* however that likely means more frequent updates for things because I write to procrastinate school work because I am piece of shit.  
> I'm thinking of doing some one-shots for this universe and if you'd like to see anything specific either leave a comment about it or check out my writing blog oncetherelivedaboy.tumblr.com and drop a request.


	18. Just Kissing

They kiss, and they kiss, they don’t even bother to go anywhere else, just finish eating and start walking back to Alex’s. Alex is grateful when he finds a pack of gum in his pocket, John takes a piece for himself as well. John has an arm around his shoulder and Alex is more than content to just burrow into his side, and John kisses him and he doesn’t think he could be happier, doesn’t think of really anything else, letting his mind process the moments as they pass rather than racing to a new story or article. John kisses him as they walk, leaning down to press them to his forehead or cheeks or mouth, Alex likes to linger on those, his feet stopping as he moves closer, bodies pressed close, and then they’ll break away again and John will be blushing as if he’s never kissed anyone even though it’s only been a few minutes since they’d last kissed, and Alex will be out of breath, and he’ll take his hand again and they’ll continue on. It takes a considerably longer time to get back than the initial walk. 

Alex’s apartment is warmer than outside, and they drape their jackets over the backs of kitchen chairs, John reaching around him, kissing his neck and Alex twists around in his arms so that they can kiss properly again. They talk between kisses, when they need to breathe. They migrate to the couch and Alex brings a beer for each of them from the fridge, they sip at them, and John suggests a movie while Alex is leaned forward kissing his throat, liking the way it moves when he talks. Maybe he can get John to sing later, his voice must sound beautiful while following a melody. He nods.

“You pick.” Alex says and John picks up the remote. Alex barely pays attention as he flips through the channels until he lands on a channel playing an 80s movie, a young Christian Slater passing a mug of poison to one of the title characters. John doesn’t seem to care much about the movie either and is kissing him again, Alex is tracing patterns on his chest as they kiss, in the inch of space they have between them. John’s hands have moved fro around his neck down, down to his hips, his fingers slipping up under his shirt and Alex sucks in air through his nose and pulls away as they slide slightly up his sides, less than an inch away from the… He grabs his wrists. John stops, doesn’t even hesitate as he scans Alex’s face for any type of panic, any sign that something is wrong.

“Did I do something wrong?” Alex shakes his head.

“No, just...” He pauses, taking a moment to breathe before continuing. “Can we take things a little bit slower when it comes to that?”

“Ofcourse.” John pulls his hands away. “I’m sorry if I..”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, ok?” He takes John’s hands back in his own.”I just don’t want us to rush into this anymore than we already have.”

“So just kissing for now?”

“Yeah, kissing is nice. I like kissing you.” John goes a shade of red that Alex isn’t even sure is on the spectrum.

“I like kissing you too.” The real meaning goes unspoken because it is definitely too early rush into saying things like that. Alex leans forward again, guiding John’s hands to his hips again and pushing him back into the couch slightly as they continue. The movie playing in the background forgotten to touches, hands tangled in hair, and pressed to cheeks.

* * *

 

John doesn’t want to leave, but Alex walking him back makes it a little more bittersweet than just bitter. They kiss at the door and John squeezes his hand as he heads into the building.

“Coffee tomorrow?” Alex asks.

“Sounds like a date.” And leans down for one final peck on the lips. He waves as Alex heads back down the steps, and then closes the door before heading back to his apartment, still floating on cloud 9. Martha is waiting in the living room, reading one of John’s books when he gets home, and peers at him over a pair of glasses.

“I was beginning to suspect you were spending the night. It’s past one.” 

“You wouldn’t believe the night I’ve had.”

“Good or bad?” She says, closing the book and dropping it on the coffee table, patting the spot next to her. 

“It was amazing.”

“Oh my god, did you have sex with him? On the first date!”

“Hey now, there's nothing with that, I do believe we were barely acquaintances.”

“True, but I want all the details.”

“Well, firstly, we didn’t do the do.”

“And why not?”

“He didn’t want to, not yet at least, he kind of freaked out when I tried to take of his shirt.”

“Awww, poor Alex, he’s probably just insecure about something, maybe he’s got a tattoo, or a badass scar.”

“He just said he wanted to take things slow, didn’t want to rush it.”

“So you guys are dating now, right? You aren’t just like f-buddies or anything like that?”

“Ok so that leads into my second point, we kissed, like a lot, and we’re going on a coffee date tomorrow.” She punches him lightly in the arm.

“I’m proud of you.” 

“He thought we were dating.” She looks at him like he’s crazy. “Asked if we were getting married.” 

“That would actually make a lot of sense about his overall apprehension towards me. You need to invite him to dinner or something so that he can get the full story, or did you tell him?”

“No, I didn’t want to tell him if you we’re comfortable with me telling.” She smiles, and places a hand on his cheek.

“You’re too sweet, however as stated before it is past one and I am dead tired.” He stands, taking her by the hand to pull Martha to her feet and flips off the lights as they head to their bedrooms.

* * *

 

He practically skips home, every bit of feeling warm and fuzzy, aware of every place John kissed, his lips will likely be a bit swollen tomorrow but he’s not worried about. No, tomorrow he has a date with John Laurens, who he spent the last few hours kissing and watching movies and almost falling asleep on. When he collapses back onto the couch he can smell John, in the pillow he’d rested his head on. He spends a moment sitting there. Feeling sleep starting to wash over him, he stands and heads to the bedroom to change into pajamas, unclipping the binder from his chest with slightly more bitterness than usual. He’s going to tell John, but tonight didn’t seem like the time to bring it up, not when it had been one of reasons Troup had left him, had been complaining about the possibility of him getting surgery, had said his injections weren’t worth the price, even though Alex was the one paying for them. He brushes his teeth and takes out his contacts without looking in the mirror, and then collapses into his bed, curling around one of the pillows. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, that's the thing I've been hinting at about Alex.  
> Guys, seriously, some of the comments from the last chapter made me want to cry, (in a good way, I promise no one made me sad) because you guys are just really nice and I just really like being able to share this with other people, and its really awesome when you let me know that you like it. I seriously love you all, no idea the exact number of you, but I really do love to hear your feedback.


	19. "Just tell me what's wrong."

Alex doesn’t tell John, not at coffee the next morning, not a dinner a week later, not when Alex shows up one early Saturday morning with hot waffles from a diner not far from their homes. Doesn’t tell him on any of their many dates. He doesn’t tell him even as he was practically sitting in John’s lap in his living room as they pressed kisses to each other's faces and necks, hands and that bit of exposed skin at the base of John’s throat. John doesn’t initiate anything more than kissing, going at Alex’s pace. It’s different from past relationships, with people he had known, who had known him before, or found out. Troup had known him before, he used to slip on his name when he was drunk or sometimes when it was a particularly heated moment , made Alex want to cry but he just accepted the apology and kisses that followed, he had loved Troup but he wasn’t entirely sure Troup had loved him, not like he had.

It’s a month in and he’s got a leg on either side of John’s waist, their foreheads pressed together as they both take deep breaths. The weather is warming up, Alex hasn’t quite shed his jacket for the year though, still not used to the northern temperatures. 

“Tell me if you want me to stop.” John says as he slips his hands under the shoulders of the jacket, and push it back, down his arms so that is lands in a pile on the floor. His hands move down, slip under the shirt. He has a full length binder on today, John won’t notice, won’t know what it is, so he lets him continue. The shirt comes off over his head, breaking the kiss momentarily. Before he can start fiddling with the tank-top Alex starts on John’s shirt, moving much more slowly than John had, letting his hands linger on his chest before pulling the fabric over his head. John is shirtless, his chest exposed and Alex takes a moment to truly appreciate it, the warm skin beneath his fingers, the freckles that dot every surface of him. John’s hands come to rest at his hips again, thumbs pressed gently to his hipbones as Alex leans forward again to kiss him. “Can I?” John murmurs against his lips and Alex stops, pulls away. Scoots back to sit on the couch, doesn’t say anything. “Alex, if you don’t want to, I don’t mind, I like being around you, not everything has to be about sex, if your ace or something I..”

“I’m not ace. I like sex, I am sexually attracted to you, I just, I don’t, I...” He hasn’t come out in a long time, not like this, not to someone he cares about, to someone he’s scared won’t still like him.

“I won’t push, ok? I’ll let you start things. I’m going to make some tea.” He starts to stand and Alex grabs his wrist, he’s on the verge of tears and John can see it in his face, he has to because his own fall. “Babe, hey, it’s ok, it’s ok.” He grabs one of the blankets and wraps it around Alex’s shoulder. “I’m sorry if I did something, whatever it is, I’ll stop, I promise. Just tell me what’s wrong.” He’s crouched on the floor in front of where Alex sits, and Alex shakes his head. 

“It’s not you, you’re perfect, you’re wonderful and I don’t want to lose you.” He can feel the tears in the corners of his eyes. John wraps his arms around his shoulders as Alex shudders.

“You’re not going to, I promise.” Alex leans into his touch, and says between sobs. 

“I’m trans ok? This thing I’m wearing is a binder.” John pulls away slightly, so that he can look Alex in the eye. He waits for the words that will feel like knives, waits for his face to shift into a look of disgust, for him to hit him, to shout, to do anything that would make it clear that he didn’t want Alex. John’s hand moves up his back, and then away, Alex squeezes his eyes shut, he’s going to hit him. Only opening them again when hand returns to his face, but it’s not to strike him, it’s to push his hair back, tucking it delicately behind his ears. He lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“Alex, I don’t care about that kind of thing, this doesn’t change how I feel about you.” Alex nods still waiting for the shoe to drop until John kisses his forehead, wiping away the tears with the pad of his thumb. “I still love you, ok?” Alex can’t breathe for moment, the words cutting through the fog. John loves him, he loves him, it's been awhile since someone had said that to him. He wants to say something back, something that sounds better than just a repetition of his own words, he can’t find them.

“I love you too.” John kisses his forehead again. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.” John shakes his head.

“Don’t apologize, there's nothing to be sorry for.” Alex smiles, and John would do anything to keep him smiling. Alex had flinched and that scares John, scares him that Alex was scared of him. 

“Can you say that other thing again?” John smiles, pushing the other thoughts down for now. 

“I love you.” The words feel like heaven, the way roll off John’s tongue, so he tries them again on his own.

“I love you more.” John’s smile widens, bright teeth flashing. 

“That’s not possible.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its a bit shorter, I might up the rating to M a bit later on, though there will likely be NO full-blown smut because in all honestly I'm just not entirely comfortable writing that kind of thing.   
> If you have any specific one-shots you want to see regarding this universe or the GTTU one, or really anything Hamilton related, feel free to drop them in my ask box on my writing blog which is oncetherelivedaboy.tumblr.com


	20. Playing Doctor

They have a date planned for that afternoon and a second bit of time spend together that evening for dinner at Alex’s, it’ll be the last one for a while before Alex goes to DC again for a few weeks, it’s not a particularly far destination but it’ll still be awhile before they can see eachother again. It's a warm morning, and John phone rings as he leaves the pre-school, just dropping Frances off.

“Hey.” John says and is greeted with a loud coughing on the other end.

“Hey.” Says the slightly hoarse and nasally voice on the other end. “I think I have to cancel our date.” Alex said.

“Are you sure, I can come over and..”

“No, I’m sick and gross. I don’t want to get you sick, definitely..” There's another fit of coughing and then returns a moment later. “Definitely don’t want to get Frances sick.”

“You’re not wearing your binder are you?”

“No, and you don’t need to get all doctory on me.”

“Just want to make sure you’re being safe.”

“I know, and I love you for it.”

“I’m going to pick you up some soup and head over.”

“John.” He half whines, “I don’t want to get you sick.” John 

“I’ll be fine, and you have to get on a train tomorrow, I want to make sure you’re alright before you leave.” 

“Fine, no soup though, I’ll have Angie to bring some, she knows this place that makes a spicy chicken noodle and she owes me.”

“I’m a block from the preschool now, alright?” 

“Ok, I’ll unlock the door real quick but then I’m crawling back into bed so just come in and lock the door behind you.” 

“See you soon, love you.”

“Love you too.” He ends the call and pushes the phone into his pocket as he continues on. Martha had a doctor’s appointment this morning but was already going to pick Frances up from school in case he fell asleep at Alex’s again, he’d been doing it more frequently recently. One minute he’d be sitting on the couch, having a conversation and barely able to keep his eyes open and the next thing he knew he was waking up with his head in Alex’s lap as he twirled his hair gently. He hasn’t spent the night yet, more because he’s worried about Frances and Martha than any discomfort with Alex.

* * *

 

When he gets there, true to Alex’s word, the door is unlocked and he heads inside, locking the door behind him before slipping off his shoes and padding softly to the bedroom. 

“Hey babe.” He says, lifting the covers gently and sliding in next to him. He could feel the heat radiating off him. Alex had opened his eyes and smiled lightly at him, his eyes glassy and a little paler than usual. He placed a hand gently on his forehead and he flinched away.

“You’re cold.” Alex says, a bit of whining in his voice and he 

“And you’re burning up, where’s the thermometer?”

“Its on the nightstand and last I checked I was at 100.8” John leans over him to reach the thermometer and Alex opens his mouth so he stick it under his tongue.

“100.8.”

“What did I tell you?” John leans forward and presses a kiss to his forehead.

“You need me to get you anything?”

“No, can you just stay in here with me?”

“Yeah.” John pulls him close and Alex turns so that his back is pressed against John’s chest and his legs are tucked back into John notices the strip of fabric on his shoulder.

“Babe, are you wearing a binder?” 

“No.” He says, pulling the t-shirt he’s wearing over his shoulders more. “It’s a sports bra.”

“Should you really be wearing that?”

“It’s not constricting.” John kisses his neck, making Alex scrunch his shoulders up. 

“You been keeping hydrated?” He asks, noticing a bit of cold 

“Yeah, I have a glass of orange juice on the nightstand and I there's a bottle of water under one of the pillows.”

“Do you want me to make you something to eat?” Alex shakes his head.

“No, I’m not hungry and I’ll text Angie later.”

“Is there anything at all you need?”

“You.” He says, turning his head slightly. “To be quiet and just hold me.” John kisses his temple before he turn his head back

“It’s cause I love you.” 

“I know. You tell me constantly.” 

“Is there something wrong with that?”

“God no, I love it hearing it, almost as much as I love you.” John’s ears still heat up when he says it. 

“I’ve come down with love.” Alex says in a sing song, though slightly hoarse, voice. “Got bit by the bug, I’m sick and I feel confused...” He starts to cough again, and when it’s subsided he starts back on with the song. 

“Shhh. Love, you’re feverish, get some sleep.” Alex is quiet after that, though he does turn back around so he can press his face into John’s shirt, listening to the rhythm of his heart as it beats in his chest. Listens as it slows, and they both drift into sleep.

* * *

 

John wakes up to Alex thrashing out against him in his sleep, he shakes him awake sharply and Alex’s eyes jolt open. He’s pale and covered in a thin layer of cold sweat. John takes his face gently in his hands.

“Hey it’s alright, I’ve got you.” He kisses his forehead and Alex relaxes into his touch, still shaking. “Nightmare.” Alex mutters. “I get them when I’m sick.”

“Is there a reason?” John asks, as Alex lies back down, pulling John with him so that he can curl up against him. 

“My mom and I got really sick when I was 12, I was ok in the end, but she died.” 

“I’m sorry.” He kisses his temple again, and pulls him in a bit closer. “My mom died when I was 16, car accident.” It’s Alex’s turn to snuggle closer, and press a kiss to his throat. 

“Was she a good mom?” 

“The best, what about your’s?”

“We never had any money, but she made due. I wish she could see me now.” John doesn’t know how to respond to that but he doesn’t have to because Alex drifts back to sleep a few minutes later with John’s fingers running lightly over his scalp and through his hair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Alex is singing is "Come down with love" by Allstar Weekend because in my grade school days I used to really like them, I think they were on disney channel for a while. It came on my pandora earlier and I was like "lol, Alex is sick and this song is about being so in love you're sick" so yeah I'm lame.   
> Sorry the chapter is a little short and a little late. I think the next chapter will probably be epilogue. As always if you have any requests for this universe or really anything Hamilton related feel free to throw them in my ask box at oncetherelivedaboy.tumblr.com  
> I'm so glad everyone loved Trans Alex because I sure do, I also realized that yesterday was Trans Visibility Day (so I took a few selfies, though I didn't post them) and I kind of wish I had held off on the chapter for a few more hours and posted it yesterday because it was Alex's coming out.   
> Alrighty, that's it for notes. Love you guys.


	21. French Lessons

“Daddy?” Frances asks one morning, as she snuggled closer to him under the covers. Alex searching the nightstand for his glasses.

“John?”

“Yes, sweetheart?” The other two both start talking at the same time, and then they both pause. John laughs, Frances giggles and Alex goes beet red, it is extraordinarily obvious which two are related. 

“You go first cherie.” Alex says. 

“How do you say dad in French?” John squints, trying to remember the words.

“ Père.” Alex says after an embarrassingly long moment for John. Francis giggles again. 

“Like the fruit!” 

“Not exactly, its more…” 

“I’m a cherry and you’re a pear!” She shouts, kicking her feet and hitting John in the stomach. “Sorry daddy.” 

“Oh dear.” John says. “Martha is going to be so jealous of you.” He tells Alex, who is now checking the nightstand drawer for his glasses.

“They’re on the dresser, dear.” Martha says from the doorway, and steps in, picks them up and hands them to Alex who seems very relieved as he slips them on. “Now, what I am going to be jealous about.

“Morning Mama!” Frances says as she sticks her head out from under the covers. Martha looks slightly stunned at her new title and then swoops down, going over John and places a kisses on her cheeks.Frances giggles.“Tickles Mama.” 

“Nothing it seems.” John says as Frances crawls out from under the covers to wrap her arms around Martha’s neck. 

“Will you do the angel braid again?” Frances asks her.

“Sure, let’s get you ready for today.” Frances jumps, wrapping her legs around Martha’s stomach and Martha carries her back into Frances’ room. 

Alex moves closer as soon as the door closes, pressing his mouth to John’s neck. 

“Don’t you dare give me a hickey. I have a job that requires me to look professional.” 

“What about down here?” Alex says, moving down to the base of his throat. 

“No, someone could see it.” Alex groans. 

“Where can I then?” He asks, looking up at John, throwing a leg over so that he’s got one on either side of him and is practically on top of him. 

“Nowhere, I have to change in a locker room.” Before Alex can complain John moves so that he catches Alex’s lips. Alex’s eyes go wide for a moment, not expecting the kiss, but easily relaxing into it. “Better?” John asks when they break away.

“Much.” 

“Good.” He flips Alex easily, pinning his arms in an instant. He releases him almost immediately, climbs off him and sits up next to him. “Now, how about I make all of us some breakfast.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, I'm sorry about that. I also haven't updated in a while. However, I am working on the epilogue at the moment, and this is obviously not, said epilogue but the epilogue is probs gonna be long. Also as soon as I found out that Pere is french for father I was like "YES!! I can make Frances continue talk about fruit." and i'm not entirely sure why I love that, but it makes me laugh because I was totally that kid who knew like a bunch of random Polish words but always heard them weird and mispronounced them, but everyone in my class in like 2nd grade thought I super cool and smart because of it so whatever. (Kind of went on a tangent there, sorry about that.)  
> You want to see more of this universe? Or have a specific prompt or something for anything? Send them my way at oncetherelivedaboy.tumblr.com seriously, don't be shy, I made the tumblr so that you could request things if you wanted them.  
> Finally, comments are my favorite things in the world and I live for them, they are like gas in a car engine if my motivation is a car. I really need to stop trying to do metaphors or similes, I am terrible at them.


	22. Broken Locks

The two are walking back from dinner, fingers intertwined as their arms swung lazily backward and forward. They likely looked liked something straight out of a romcom. The sun set long ago and their way was lit by streetlights. They climbed the steps to Alex’s apartment. 

“You can stay.” Alex says as John leans down to kiss him, as he fidgeted with his keys. John hummed against his mouth. “Overnight if you’d like, I’ve crashed at your place.” 

“Maybe.” John says, kissing him again. “I’m still worried something will happen.” 

“I understand.” Alex said, as John pulled away slightly. “You’re welcome to stay for a bit though, if you wanted to make out or something.” John laughs and Alex goes bright red. “What?” 

“The way you said it, it just sounded so high school.” He pauses, mulling it over for a moment. “We can, as you so eloquently put it ‘make-out or something’.” Alex starts to unlock the door, and his face twists. “What?” John asks.

“It’s unlocked. I could have sworn I locked it before we left.” 

“I thought you did to? Does anyone else have a key?”

“No, I changed the locks after Troup moved out.”

“Troup?” John asks and Alex freezes as he turns the handle.

“My ex.” He says as he opens the door, the apartment is dark. “Guess I just forgot to lock it.” He takes off his shoes off as John flicks on the lights. 

“Or maybe you didn’t.” John says and Alex looks up, seeing Angie in his favorite chair, Peggy perched on the arm of it. Hercules was picking at a loose thread on the couch while Lafayette is laying on the couch his head resting on Hercules’ thigh. Peggy starts shouting almost immediately 

“What did I tell you?” And then Lafayette

“Alex, I told you not to do this!” And then Hercules is just looking at him with utter disappointment and they’re all shouting and John just looks very overwhelmed and Alex yells.

“All of you shut the fuck up!” And the room goes quiet as John tries to hide behind Alex, which is an immediate fail because he’s the taller one. “Someone had better explain to right this instant what you’re all doing in my apartment sitting in the dark when I’m on a date.” The room erupts again and Alex just sighs, pulling John against his side, surprised when it’s him who yells at all of them to once again shut up, because he’s heard his name one two many times out of a two people he barely knows mouths, and two he doesn’t.

It’s Lafayette who finally says something useful. 

“Goddamnit Alex, I told you not to go messing with the straight boy.” Alex goes a bright red, he’d completely forgot to tell his friends, been so preoccupied with John. John on the other hand does a double take.

“What now? Did the french guy just call me a straight boy?” He asks Alex.

“Yes, and that’s Lafayette, the one he was laying on earlier is Hercules, and you already know Peggy and Angelica.” 

“Seriously Alex, you know better than this, and you, you little curly haired prick.” Peggy says standing. “You’re not even attempting to turn him down, just going along with it probably to get some money for your shitty apartment.” John backs up as Peggy moves closer, he can see the scar from the stitches he’d done weeks ago. Angelica moves in as well, behind Peggy and flinging her own insults, calling him flat out a gold digger even though Alex likely doesn’t make much more that John. 

“Jesus fucking christ. Did any of you hear what I said?” Alex says as he steps in. “John and I are dating.”

“He’s using you, Alex.” John looks mortified. 

“No, no I’m not.” 

“Really who pays for meals?” Peggy says looking him dead in the eye.

“It depends.” Alex replies.

“On the price?”

“What? No?” John says loudly. 

“Mon Amour.” Lafayette says, standing. “We know you like him, but he’s straight.”

“Jesus, why do you all think I’m straight.”

“You have a kid.” Peggy, Lafayette and Angie say at the same time as Hercules says, “I heard you had a girlfriend.”

“Oh my god, look I know I haven’t to talk to you guys in a while, and that last time I did it was likely about my massive crush on someone who at the time I had assumed was straight.”

“Aww babe.” John says taking his hand and kissing his cheek making Alex go bright red.

“But I can assure you all, my boyfriend is very much gay, and that he is very much not using me for monetary purposes.” 

“You could have saved all of us a lot of confusion by just texting us.” Hercules says from where he’s still sitting on the couch.

“Now, if you all don’t mind, please get out. Peggy, Angie, if either of you decide to pick my locks again to ambush me I’m going to put a security system in.” 

“Sorry for the confusion Mon Amour.” Lafayette says, grabbing John by his shoulders and kissing his cheeks. “I hope to see more of you.” John looks utterly shell shocked when he lets go and heads out the door, Peggy and Angie following. 

“You too Herc.” Alex adds and he huffs and sighs, giving Alex a hug and offering an apology. 

“See you later ali **_tailor._ ** ” Alex says and Hercules groans. 

“Your puns suck, already on the way to dad-jokehood.” The door closes behind him and Alex buries his head in John’s chest.

“I am so sorry.” ALex says, and John laughs.

“It’s alright, you have friends who care about you.” He kisses the top of his head and wraps his arms around Alex’s back, anchoring him against his chest, Alex’s arms around his waist and John's cheek rested gently against the top of Alex’s head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the lack of updates recently, I've been in kind of a shitty place recently cause I have to pick out a college and a major and all that stuff soon and I really don't know what I want to do, I'd love to write fiction books, but it just seems so unrealistic right now that I can't even find the motivation to write because now everything is just Stressful, capitol S. And I have finals in the next 5 weeks and prom and I cry because I want to go but I'm only allowed to go if I wear a dress and I want to fight someone, and I'm sorry, cause now I'm just ranting. But yeah, I kind of lack the motivation to do anything as of the last like week because I have so much shit to do and I'm stressing the fuck out. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	23. A Letter

Alex doesn’t move when the doorbell rings, he doesn’t acknowledge it because through the fog of his mind and the loud instrumentals playing coming out of the speakers he doesn’t hear it. It rings again and still nothing, he continues writing, typing not even near as quickly as he needs to keep up his thoughts. He gets a page done by the time the song slows again, softens and then fades out, there's a moment between the songs, the silent transition, when he hears the front door close. That is when he jumps, he lowers the music, and checks his phone, John hadn’t said he was coming over, most likely it was Angie, but the last few times she’d texted before her and her crony broke in. There was always Lafayette, and while at times he could be hideously annoying and showed up at ridiculous times, he didn’t have a key. 

Alex keeps a taser in the drawer of his nightstand, and his bedroom is just across the hall, he’s just standing up as the doorknob to the office turns, he freezes and grabs the first thing he things that might do some damage to a burglar on his desk, the stapler. His heart racing at a thousand miles a minute.

“Alex? You in there?” He drops the stapler, and the door opens the rest of the way.

“Christ, John you gave me a heart attack.” He says, still looking at the desk and puts the stapler back where it belongs. 

“I should have called or something, I’m sorry. You gave me a key, and I..” There’s a sort of sadness in his voice, as it he’s on the verge of tears and when Alex looks up his eyes are red and puffy. He’s across the room in an instant, wrapping his arms around John, letting the taller man rest his head against Alex’s shoulder.

“Babe, what’s wrong? Did something happen? Are Martha and Frances alright?” He guides John to the couch sitting in the corner. 

“No, nothing like that, they’re ok.” He says, as he sits and presses a kiss to his forehead.

“Is everything ok with you?” He pulls an envelope out his pocket and passes it to Alex. The return address from one, Henry Laurens in Charleston, South Carolina.

“My father.” He says, taking a breath, elbows on his knees and pressing his palms into his eyes. “Read it.” It’s already open and the paper inside had been shoved back into messily. He flattened it out and sat down next to John as he read it, it wasn’t a considerably long letter.

 

_ Jack _

_ I’ve recently been informed that you’re with a young woman, and that the two of you have a daughter. I’m glad to hear that you’ve grown out of your little act of rebellion when you left, very glad you’ve settled down with someone. Your former transgressions will be forgiven now that you’ve seen that your previous assumptions and choices of action were incorrect. I look forward to meeting my grandchild and your wife.  _

_ -Henry Laurens _

 

There was a phone number written out at the bottom of the page. John was shaking next to him, and Alex wrapped an arm around him when he’d finished reading, kissing his temple. 

“I came out after Martha, after what happened that night.” He takes in a deep breath. “He kicked me out, said I could back after I stopped trying to embarrassing him. I haven’t talked to him since then. Haven’t seen him once. How does he know about Frances, how does he know where I live.” 

“Shhh.” Alex said, as tears started to fall down John’s cheeks. “It’s going to be ok. You don’t have to call him, not if you don’t want to, or we can call him right here, right now, get it over with like you’re ripping off a bandaid.” John leaned into his touch and Alex had his palms on John’s cheeks and his fingers in his hair.

“Not now, but I want you with me when I do.” Alex nodded. 

“I’ll be there with you.” He kissed his forehead again, and wrapped his arms around his neck, John burying his face in his neck. “I’ll always be here for you.” He whispers and can feel the slight squeeze of John’s arms around him. When they break away Alex wipes the tears from his cheek with his thumbs. 

“So..” He says, noticing that John has calmed considerably. “Jack?” John rolls his eyes and half laughs. 

“Yeah, my sister used to call me that too.”

“You have a sister?” 

“Two actually.” Alex smiles a bit.

“You never told me that?” 

“I have two brothers as well.” He sniffles, and Alex hands him a tissue from the end table. “What about you? Any secret family?” 

“My dad left, you already knew that though. My mom died two years later, my older brother was supposed to be my guardian when that happened, but he left too. I got put with my cousin, he committed suicide, and then I got put one of his brothers, and then he died as well.” John’s eyebrows have raised. 

“Christ, that's fucked up.” Alex shrugs.

“After that I was put in the system and I ended up with a pretty decent foster family.” 

“How old were you?”

“Mom died when I was twelve, we both got really sick. I got better, she didn’t.” He shrugs again and John hugs him again. 

“I feel so bad for you.”

“Don’t.” Alex says, and he pulls away slightly, but he’s got a small smile on his face. “I don’t want pity. I’m fine, I’m happy with my life. I’ve got a great job and crazy friends, and an incredible boyfriend with the cutest kid ever.” Alex kisses him on the mouth, slow, his lips chapped against his own. John is half torn to just buy him some chapstick because they’re always chapped, but he also can’t imagine kissing him without the bit of roughness there. They break apart. “So I don’t need your pity, not as long as I have you.” John smiles. “Now, I hate to break up this nice little kiss, but I have to finish an article, but I can bring my laptop over here and you can curl up with me while I write. Is that alright?” John nods, and Alex drops a kiss to the top of his head before getting up to grab the laptop. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delays between chapters. This will be ending soon, maybe one or two more chapters before the epilogue. The idea of that actually makes me really sad, because writing this has been like my favorite thing to do recently, but I'll probably still write one-shots and stuff for this universe. Speaking of which, if there's anything specific you would like to see that doesn't happen in this fic or if you have any fic requests feel free to send them to me over at my tumblr: oncetherelivedaboy.tumblr.com   
> also seriously comments are my favorite things ever.


	24. "Do I make myself clear?"

John doesn’t call his father, at least not yet, but it’s been 2 weeks since the letter arrived. Martha is sitting at the apartment by herself, John had left for work in the early hours of the morning and she’d taken Frances to school that morning before returning and curling up on the couch with one of John’s books, it’s mostly classics that he can read to Frances, he’s even got the first three Harry Potter books, there are a few comic books that are likely from his teenage years and a few journals, she’s noticed John taking them out some nights and writing in the top one, she doesn’t read them, though the curiosity is there and she has more than enough time to read them on the days he’s gone, she doesn’t touch them, except to dust the bookshelf when she gets the urge to clean. 

The buzzer sounds, and she startles, dropping the book on her lap before laughing slightly to herself, it’s most likely Alex, who while an overall pretty organized person tended to mix times and days up. So she stands, drops the book onto the table and pulls a hoodie on over her t-shirt, grabbing the keys as she heads out into the hallway of the building. She’s smiling as she pulls the door open, it’s not someone she recognizes, a graying man who dressed like a politician. 

“I think you have the wrong apartment.” She says. “But I’m sure I can help you, I mostly know who lives where in the building.” She’d befriended a few of the neighbors, she didn’t know them well, just name, faces and apartment number. He smiles at her smile.

“Are you Martha?” 

“Yes.” He holds out his hand and she shakes it. 

“Henry Laurens, I’m Jack’s father. May I come in?” He’s already his way through the doorway, and Martha frowns a bit.”John, I forget he went by that more to friends.” 

“John’s not home right now. I’ll let him know you stopped by though.” 

“I sent him a letter, and he’s been ignoring my calls.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that, but I don’t know you and I don’t feel comfortable letting you into my home.” She’s already starting to close the door, but he’s pushing more on it, 

“Surely you know who I am? He wouldn’t get married without you knowing a bit about his family.” She blows a bit of hair that has fallen into her face. 

“I wish everyone would stop assuming that we’re married.”

“You’re not? Well, I’ll have to speak to him about that, and you live with my son? Is your daughter home as well?” She tenses. 

“Get out.” She says, pushing harder on the door. “I don’t care who you say you are, but I don’t know how you know so much. Don’t come back without an invitation.” She can’t get the door shut, he’s got his foot jammed in it. 

“Martha, let me in, I want to speak with my son and my granddaughter.” His face is twisted with anger, and Martha is tense, putting every bit of effort she can into keeping the door from opening more, but even so it moves. 

“Hey!” Someone shouts and she doesn’t know who it is, but they’re pulling Henry away from the door. “Leave her alone, get out of here.” Alex, oh thank god, she’s never been more relieved in her life.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” The man shouts, at him. 

“Someone who will call the police if you continue to harass this woman.” He slams the door shut as he steps in and she hugs him around the neck, still shaking a bit. 

“You alright?” He asks, stepping away a bit. 

“Yes, I’m alright, thank you.” She takes a breath, still a little shaken. “Let’s go back to the apartment. John’s not home right now, but could you stay for a bit.” She’s visibly shaking and Alex nods, before leading her back to the apartment, inside he puts on hot water for tea, and she sits down at the kitchen table.

“Who was that?” 

“He said he was John’s father, I’ve never met him before.” Alex nearly drops the mugs he’s holding.

“That was Henry?” She nods. “I swear to god, I’m going to kill him.”

“Don’t say that. What does he want?” 

“I’m not entirely sure about his motives, John got a letter from him a few weeks ago.” He sighs, searching for teabags. “He kicked John out when he came out.” 

“That’s horrible.”

“And now he thinks he’s straight because of Frances.” 

“He looked angry. I thought he was going to hit me or something.” She says, her voice small and shaky. Alex stops. 

“Do you want me to pick Frances up tonight?” She nods, and he turns to her, there are tears dripping down her cheeks.

“I dated a guy after the whole thing with John, after I had Frances.” She takes in a deep breath. “He was older, a lot older. I thought I wanted someone mature, but he, he, he.” She stutters over the words, and rubs at her arms. “He used to hit me, I remember then I worked at a coffee place, and I had to look nice, so I’d cover it all up with make-up, on my face at least, my arms would bruise and I’d wear long sleeves.” There are napkins on the counter and she wipes at her nose. “He used to look like that sometimes, just anger, nothing but anger. My friends thought he was sweet, when he’d buy me gifts, or he’d pay for a group date, all of use with our partners.” She sniffles. “I told them I broke my arm after I slipped on the stairs, they didn’t question it, not even when the bruises were so obviously fingerprint marks.” She takes a deep breath. “Guess I have him to thank for all of this though.” She gestures to the apartment. “I went to the hospital one night, all dazed. I don’t even remember what he hit me with, a plate or a glass or something, and they did a brain scan because they thought I had cranial bleeding, and they found the mass, and I was diagnosed, and they told me I had months.” Alex takes off his jacket and wraps it over her shoulders and she pulls it closed around her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to drop all that on you.” Alex shakes his head.

“It’s alright, I don’t mind listening. Does John know about this?” She nods. 

“We talk most nights, after Frances is put to bed and one of us reads to her and then we sit on the couch for a while. It was weird at first, we’d both read though. I think it started there, we’d discuss the books and then the awkwardness fell away.”

“Do you love him?” Alex asks, staring at the kettle as it heats, and the question startles Martha, but she laughs a bit. 

“Not like you, he’s my  friend. I don’t have a lot of time for romantic feelings for anyone, let alone a man who opening told me he was gay.” Alex nods.

“I’m still terribly sorry about our first meeting and after what you just…”

“Don’t. Ok? You were forgiven along time ago.” She interrupts. He nods again. “I don’t want that relationship to be my defining trait, it's not eve a trait, it’s a thing that happened and I got out.” She sighs. “Did you even remember that night?”

“No, I pieced it together enough though.” The kettles whistles and Alex pours it into the mugs, sits down at the table and passes one to Martha. She watches as the clear water turns darker, if she took a spoon and crushed the tea bag against the side it would change faster, but she just stares at it.

“Do we tell him?” She asks.

“About his father?” 

“Yes.” 

“I don’t know. It’ll only upset him more it’s a surprise though.” Alex stares at his own mug. “I’ll call him when he gets off. Do you want to stay at my place tonight?” The offer catches her off guard. “If he’s skulking around here, I don’t want to leave you and Frances here alone.” 

“I can take care of myself.”

“I’m not trying to insinuate you can’t.” He sighs. “I know what it’s like, to be scared.”

“Only if you promise that it’s not a burden.” 

“Definitely not. I have a pull out couch in my office, you could stay there or the bedroom, I’ll take whichever you don’t want.”

* * *

 

John’s phone buzzes as he’s walking out of the station, and he smiles seeing it's from Alex and offers a wave to one of the guys there who shouts a farewell.

 

_ My place, Martha packed bags for everyone. _

_ A.Ham _

 

John calls him as soon as he reads the message.

“Everything alright? Why’s everyone staying there?”

“Your father showed up this morning. Scared Martha half to death, and I offered my place.” 

“Henry showed up?” 

“Yes.”

“Shit. Is Frances with you?” 

“Yes.” 

“I’ll be there shortly.” He hangs up and then dials the number that had been calling him all week, the number that he had been ignoring, the number that had been at the bottom of the letter. It rings, once, twice, three times.

“Jack, it’s good to see you’ve had the decency to call me back.”

“Listen to me, I don’t want your bullshit, I don’t want you involved in my life, and you made it quite clear that you didn’t want me involved in your’s. Yet, you show up at my home and you harass my friends.” 

“Jack..”

“Don’t. You kicked me out. You said I could come back after I stopped embarrassing you. I’m still gay dad, I’ve always been gay, I always will be gay.”

“Yet you have a daughter. The charade is up Jack, stop trying to play games.”

“I’m not playing a game, you dimwit. It happened before I came out, as a way to prove to myself, to prove to you. Do you know how long I hated myself because of the things you told me.” 

“Please Jack.” He says, sounding as if he’s rolling his eyes. “Enough with the dramatics.”

“I’m going to say this once. If I ever, hear about you coming near my home, my daughter, my boyfriend or Martha again, I will not hesitate to have file for a restraining order. And god forbid I ever see you myself.” He grits his teeth as he talks, barely stopping himself from shouting. “Have I made myself clear?” 

“Must you always make these childish threats?”

“Have I made myself clear?” He repeated, louder this time. 

“I suppose.” Henry says on the other end. John hangs up and shoves the phone back into his pocket. 

He raps on the door softly and much like two weeks before, he just lets Alex take him in his arms, and kiss him gently. Only this time, Frances curls up between them and hugs her father, unaware of the situation, just knowing that he needed her there as much as anything else, as much as he need oxygen and water. He holds her against his chest, and she’s curled up on his lap. Alex makes a joke about calling Peggy to rough Henry. John’s response isn’t exactly sarcastic. Angelica does get a call, and a thinly veiled threat is slipped into the pocket of the politician looking man who is seething with anger as he hails a cab. Angie and Peggy show up later that evening, as do Hercules and Lafayette. Lafayette arrives with a bag of groceries and he sets to work in the kitchen. Martha seems a little overwhelmed. 

“It normally isn’t like this, none of my friends have any concept of ‘being invited’ however.” 

“Do you want dinner or not?” Lafayette shouts from the kitchen, Peggy is helping him in the cutting department, slicing vegetables, and Angelica is helping him measure out the extensive ingredients. Hercules chats with Martha at the kitchen table, and Frances watches from the sidelines as the others bustle around the kitchen. John just rests his head on Alex’s shoulder, utterly exhausted from work and the idea that his father had shown up at his home.


	25. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frances is six when it happens.

Frances is six when it happens. When no one comes to pick her up from school. When Alex gets a call from the school nearly an hour after they let out, and picks her up, takes her to back to John’s apartment. She reads and Alex goes to check on Martha, only she doesn’t move when he tries to wake her up, doesn’t react, doesn’t breathe. She’s stiff under the blankets. He calls John as Frances reads The Magic School Bus at the table. He calls police station after he hangs up, after John says he’ll be there as soon as he can. John arrived at the same time the coroner did, he asks Alex to take Frances to his place. Tells him not to tell her, not until he’s there and can talk to her. John packs her an overnight bag and gives it to Alex, kisses Frances and tells her to behave, and Alex takes her back to his apartment, John stays behind to make sure everything is taken care of.

John arrives at Alex’s late that night, long after Frances has gone to sleep. He doesn’t say anything at first, just drops onto the couch with Alex and lets his head rest in his lap.

“Last night.” He says. “Last night she called herself cruel, said she felt like what she was doing was selfish. To come into Frances’ life knowing she wouldn’t be here long.” Alex can see the tears running sideways down his face, over the bridge of his nose before falling onto the fabric of his pajama pants. “6 months. That’s how long she said she had. She gave Frances 2 and half years, and she still felt like what she was doing was selfish.” Alex is stroking his hair gently, untying the ponytail, the curls fall around his face. He wipes away a tear with his thumb.

“How are you going to tell Frances?”

“I don’t know, I keep running through the ways, she didn’t know about Martha’s being sick.” He wants to chuckle, but it comes out as more of a sob. “I remember when she first started calling her Mom.” Another wells in his chest for the heartbreak he’ll have to give to Frances, for the pain he’s feeling over losing such a close friend. “How can I tell her, when I know it’ll hurt her?”

“Frances is young, she’s resilient and she’s got you. She’s going to be ok.” John nods, but doesn’t sit up. Alex moves so that he’s laying down, with John’s head is resting on his chest. The scar tissue beneath the shirt slightly sensitive though he doesn’t say anything, just presses a kiss to John’s temple and runs a hand lightly up and down his side.  

“I knew this was coming, from the beginning, I just didn’t think…” He tries to catch his breath, as the sobs start again.

“Shhh, it’s alright.”

“This morning she was asleep and I didn’t wake her up, maybe if I had…”

“No, there is no blaming yourself.” Alex says. “She knew, you knew, it's nobody’s fault. She was sick, John.” It takes a moment but eventually he nods again, buries his face deeper into the shirt. “I should tell Frances.”

“Tomorrow morning, let’s get you to bed.” He sits up, dragging John with him as he stands. He drags him to the bedroom.

“Where’s Frances?”

“Pull out in the office, she said she wanted to have a big girl sleepover by herself. Don’t worry I put away all my work stuff.”

“Your computer?”

“My laptop’s in the living room. I took care of everything. Do you want to check on her?” John doesn’t reply just goes across the hall to crack the door to the office open. A sliver of light from the hallway creeping across her sleeping figure as he opens the door. She’s got her little turtle plushie wrapped tightly in her arms. He steps in, and kisses her forehead, her breaths soft and slow, a small smile on her face.

Alexander helps him pull off his shirt, to shed the jeans for a pair of sweatpants. John crawls under the covers first, waiting for Alex to finish brushing his teeth and wrap his arms around him, so that his breath is warm against his neck. Only when he gets out of the bathroom he doesn’t get in the bed, he starts to head out, a blanket and pillow tucked under his arm.

“Alex?” John says, and he turns.

“I thought you’d want some time to think.”

“No.” And then very softly. “Please don’t leave me alone, not tonight.” Alex drops the pillow and blanket and climbs in next to him. John’s taller than he is so it’s a bit awkward when John curls up next to him, tucks his head under Alex’s chin. Alex’s hands are cold against his bare back, and slightly damp, same with the ends of his hair, must have washed his face.

“I love you.” Alex whispers in his ear. John doesn’t say it back, just kisses his shoulder. Alex doesn’t need to hear it to know, and his arms curl just the slightest bit tighter around him.

* * *

 

John calls the school the next morning, tells them that Frances won’t be in today, offers a quick explanation of the nights before and hangs up. He lets her sleep in, and sits in the kitchen with Alex drinking coffee. Until she comes running into the kitchen at about 10.

“Daddy, I’m going to be late for school.” She’s already dressed and she’s pulled her hair into a very messy ponytail. He stands and goes over to her, crouches down in front of her.

“Frances, I need you to listen to me before we do anything, ok?” She nods and then looks around, slightly confused.

“Yesterday Martha died. Do you know what that means?” She looks at him and her face falls slightly.

“That’s not a funny joke Daddy.”

“Sweetheart, it’s not a joke. Martha was sick, she’d been sick for a long time.”

“But you saved her, cause you save people.” She isn’t crying, not yet, though he knows she’s not far off. He gently shakes his head.

“No one could save her.”

“Stop lying, we’re not supposed to lie.” She turns to look at Alex. “Père tell him to stop lying!” She says stomping her foot, and John takes her gently by the shoulders.

“Sweetheart, I would never lie to you.” Tears start to fall down her cheeks and she surges forward so that she’s against her father’s chest, and his arms envelope her. Blocking out the world as she cried.

 

Later that day, while Frances is curled against his chest, still sniffling, but her tears are gone, she’s still upset, could burst into tears again at any moment, but she’s holding them back. Alex had gone out to get something for lunch. His phone rings, and he answers.

“John Laurens?”

“Yes.”

“I’m Ms. Manning’s lawyer. I was to contact you after her death.” There’s a pause. “Would you like me to set up an appointment, there are some things regarding her assets that I need to speak with you about, or perhaps if you’re free today.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“How does 5 sound?”

“That works, what’s the address?” He rattles it off.

“If that’s all then, I should be going. See you this evening.”

“Alright.” The call ends just as Alex opens the door, carrying a bag of groceries.

They all go to lawyer’s, though Frances falls asleep on the cab-ride over, and John can’t bring himself to wake her up so he just picks her up, a hand on her back and her head on his shoulder and her breath warm on his neck, he presses a gentle kiss to her forehead. There’s secretary just ahead of them and she smiles at them.

“Mr. Laurens I presume.”

“Yes, and this is Alexander and Frances.” He says.

“I’ll just let Mr. Burr know.”

“Burr?” Alex asks.

“Yes, Aaron Burr.” She smiles. “Do you know him?”

“Went to college with him.” He says offhandedly as she picks up the phone.

“John Laurens is here to see you.” She pauses, listening to his reply. “Ok, I’ll let him know.” She turns back to them. “He’ll be out in just a moment.” She gestures to the chairs and they sit down, Frances still dozing. John drops his head on Alex’s shoulder.

“Do you want me to take her for a while?” Alex asks, and John nods against his shoulder and shifts her so that she’s in Alex’s arms. “I can stay out here if you want to talk to him on your own.”

“Please don’t try to distance yourself.” John murmurs. “Last night, I, I..” He pauses. “I need people I love around me, if I need space I’ll tell you.”

“Ok.” Alex says and presses his lips to his temple. “I love you.” John wraps an arm around his waist, and presses closer into his side.

A lean, bald, black man steps out from the hallway, his suit tailored perfectly. making him look taller.

“Alexander?”

“Burr! Hey, I’d hug you, but I’ve got Frances here.” He says. Aaron doesn’t look amused and turns to John.

“John Laurens?”

“Yes.”

“I spoke to you on the phone, would you mind following me back to my office. Alexander may come as well.” He says, and John takes his hand as they stand. Aaron stops just as he enters the hall.

“Sally?”

“Yes.”

“Could you give Theo a call and ask if I left my umbrella in her car?”

“Sir, it’s not raining.”

“Yes, I know, but when I came in earlier it wasn’t in my office.”

“I’ll give her a call.”

“Thank you dear, and could you make sure the next time Jefferson skips out on the office that he please inform me before his clients barge in on my meetings.” She nods and Burr returns to John and Alex and continues to lead them to his office. It's a very neutral office, law books fill the bookshelf, sorted alphabetically the desk is neat, everything in it’s place, and a bright green folder sits in the middle of it, the only thing to indicate that the office is more than a display model is the polaroid of a woman with her hair in box braids and laying down her back, and bright pink lipstick taped to the corner of the computer monitor in the corner of the desk. She’s mid laugh in the picture, and holding a single red rose, looking at the man, who Alex assumes is Aaron, behind the camera with a face of nothing less than the purest love. There’s a couch against one of the walls and Alex lies Frances down there and moves a pillow beneath her head. He and John sit in the chair that Aaron gesture to across from his desk.

“John, were you made aware of her financial situation?”

“No, she just said she had money from her parents.” He flips open the file on his desk.

“That is partially true. Her parents were technically the ones providing her with funds, however they passed away when she was 18, they left all of their money to her, quite a large sum as well. Did you know any of this?”

“No, she never told me her parents were dead.” He nods.

“She came to me about two and half, almost 3 years ago. She wanted me to make sure that money got to you, what was your relationship to her?”

“Originally or as of recent times?”

“Both, if you don’t mind my asking.”

“We had a one-night stand 6 years ago, and then 9 months later social services shows up on my door with Frances.” He gestures to where she’s sleeping.

“And your more recent relationship?”

“We were friends, she’s been living with me and Frances for the last 2 and a half years, after he was diagnosed she wanted to be apart of Frances life.” He nods.

“I’ll be talking to the court in a few days about transferring her funds to you. Do you have any questions?”

“How much money are we talking?” Burr grins and picks up a sheet of paper and passes it over the desk to him. It’s a list of about 25 bank accounts, each with more money than he makes in a year and the final total makes his head spin. Alex glances over his shoulder and his jaw drops.

“Holy shit.” He would never have to work again if he wanted and still live a somewhat luxurious life. Just as quickly as that thought manifests it disappears.

“I only want one account, for emergencies. Everything else put away for Frances.”

“Are you sure about that?” Burr asks. “There's more than..”

“No, the money should go to Frances.” He nods and takes the paper back, makes a note on the paper. “Any specific account?”

“The lowest one.” Burr nods again.

* * *

 

They don’t leave until much later, she had a life insurance policy in place for her funeral already, plans already made. She had her wishes in the will with Burr, she didn’t have any other friends, a few people she saw regularly, but she mostly just spent her time with Frances, wanting to catch up on the years she had missed and the ones she would never see. Frances wakes up when John’s picking her up out of the cab.

“Hi sweetheart.” He says, kissing her forehead.

“Are we at the lawyer’s yet?” She asks.

“Already went there, you fell asleep, we’re home now.” She nuzzles closer into his shirt.

“I’m still sad Daddy.” He holds her a bit tighter and Alex runs a hand over her back.

“I know, I am too, it’s going to be alright though. I promise.” She nods.

“Is Père going to die to?” She asks and John drops the keys he’s holding.

“No, no sweetheart.” He sets her down so that he can look her straight in the face, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. “Alex is going to be fine.” He looks up at him. “Right Alex?” He crouches down as well.

“I’m not going anywhere Cherie.” He says and she hugs him, tears streaking down her cheeks.

“Père don’t leave.” He holds her tight as she cries.

“I won’t cherie, I won’t.” She grips the back of his shirt beneath her small hands and he lifts her up gently and John wraps himself around the both of them.

Frances falls back asleep shortly after, drained emotionally and physically from the day. He puts her in his bed, she doesn’t normally get in bed with him anymore, only when she has a nightmare or if there's a big storm. He has the next day off and he’s unimaginably thankful for that. John doesn’t even try to stay up, just drags Alex with him to the bedroom and they pass out on the bed, Frances curled up against John’s chest, and between the two of them.

The next morning Frances gets ready to school with Alex’s help, John’s still asleep when the alarm goes off and Frances blinks up at the both of them.

“You don’t have to go school.” Alex says and she shakes her head.

“It felt weird not going yesterday.” So he gets up and turns on the coffee maker, before going to get clothes out for her. She doesn’t let him braid her hair. He scrawls a messy note and leaves it on the nightstand along with a cup of coffee on the nightstand for John in case he wakes up while they’re gone. He’s snoring softly as Alex changed into jeans and pulls a jacket on over his t-shirt.

* * *

 

Life moves on without Martha, Frances continues with school. John makes sure to talk to the teachers about the situation. He asks them to talk to him if they have any worries, that he wants to make sure she knows that everything she’s feeling is validated. Eliza, her old preschool teacher begins babysitting for them when they both have to work. Frances takes it all well, sure she still has days when she’s upset, what child wouldn’t, what person wouldn’t?

The mother-daughter tea party at her school sets her off for a week straight, when John asks if she’d want him or Alex to bring her it just gets worse. The night of the dance he takes her out for a special night, just the two of them, they go to some of the gardens because he knows she loves them, it’s midspring and she chases the butterflies, grins when John catches one, holding its wings carefully between two fingers.

“Be gentle.” He tells her as he sets it lightly onto the back of her hand, still holding the wings so it doesn’t take off, and Frances watches it with an unbridled fascination. “I’m going to let it go, alright?” She nods and he removes his hand, letting in spread the orange and black wings, it stays for a moment, and then it takes off, drifting to a different flower.

She still seems so little, like it was only yesterday he was sitting up with her, next to the crib, terrified if he left she’d stop breathing in her sleep. Like it’s that first night, and she’d fallen asleep on his chest after what felt like a lifetime of screaming as he tried to figure out what was wrong, diaper, food, everything, and in the end she had just been tired and the second he sat down completely exhausted, she'd fallen asleep. He can remember when she was small enough to fit in the crook of his elbow, and when she couldn’t talk, save for laughing, babbling and crying, and how when she did start talking, it had seemed as if she was always talking, not perfect sentences, she still didn’t speak in perfect sentences, but she talked and talked and talked, and he knew once she got the hang of reading he’d never see her without a book. Alex is already teaching her french, along with Lafayette, and John’s starting to pick the language back up because of the three of them. She’s a smart girl and he can’t wait to see what she grows into, but he’s also terrified it will come too soon and he’ll lose his little girl.

“Are you and Alex going to get married?” He glances down at her, and she’s still watching the butterflies, the question itself pulling him from his thoughts and startling him slightly.

“Maybe, I don’t really know.” She looks at him, as if confused.

“You love him though?”

“Yes, I love him very much.”

“So then why don’t you know?” He crouches down in front of her.

“Because sometimes people like to move at different paces, I don’t know if we’re there yet.”

“If you stop loving each other will I still see him.”

“People don’t just stop loving each other sweetheart.” He sighs gently. “We love each other. But most importantly we love you, you know that right?” She nods and then a flash of color catches her eye and she turns, and then runs toward a large dragonfly, hovering over a flower. He grins, thinking that he'll bring up ice cream after she starts to wear down from chasing insects.

* * *

 

She’ll have bad days, because of the events that could have been avoided, as will John, but Frances has her dad, and John has Alex.

“Just us three against the world.” John whispered to Alex as they stood at the altar, and he’d smiled, remembering the evening he’d said that, when Frances had been so young. She was still young, and as John had watched her scatter flower petals down the aisle from atop Hercules’ shoulders, it had been a reminder. He’d had three years of just him and Frances, she was his world, and then he’d met Alex, his life had been turned upside down and before he knew it he was no longer a single dad who had no friends and no family but Frances. At the time, that had been enough, but not now. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if he lost any of his friends and Frances adored them all. Peggy and Angie were like older sisters to her, and John knew he’d be thankful for them and Alex a few years down the line. Hercules made matching outfits for her and her dolls when he had the time. Lafayette was her french teacher and, unbeknownst to John before Martha’s passing, was a trauma counselor and helped keep an eye on things with Frances, to make sure she was handling things in a healthy manner, that was when he’d offered to teach her french. As a way to keep her from dwelling on Martha’s death.

The wedding was small, just close friends, neither of them have much in the way of family but Alex had said he’d sent an invitation to his brother, James, but he hadn’t responded. John hadn’t talked to his father since he’d shown up, and hadn’t bothered to inform him. He’d thought about contacting his siblings but they were much younger than he was, the oldest besides himself only just out of high school. The reception isn’t so much a reception as Eliza babysitting Frances for the evening while the rest of the group went out dancing. John and Alex stumbled home early, not so much drunk on alcohol, more buzzed than anything, but completely smashed on each other. They were in the process of moving into a new apartment, most of the furniture between their current residents, sold or already moved. John’s new textbooks sat in a box by the door, and he nearly trips over them. He was going back to school to become a trauma nurse. It had taken Alex months to convince him, but John was happy he had. He’d become an EMT out of necessity, it was a two year degree, and he’d been broke and on his own, he’d worked at a diner when he first was on his own, and while he loved his job now, he knew what he wanted to do something a little different. 

“John, babe, you there?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, just a little tired.” He said, shaking his head, trying to clear the murky thoughts.

“You wanna skip the wedding night formalities and just pass out.” John hummed in agreement, and Alex collapsed onto the air mattress, pulling him down along with him.

“Honestly, how do other couples manage huge weddings, huge parties and then get it on that night, I’m exhausted and that was mild compared to the receptions I’ve attended.” John chuckled and scooted closer to kiss him on softly on the mouth.

“It’s a conspiracy.” He said, between kisses. “No one actually does the deed on their wedding night.” John could feel Alex’s fingers wrapping around his own, rubbing the still foreign feeling wedding band.

“I love you.” Alex said against his mouth, and John smiled.

“How does it feel to be Mr. Hamilton-Laurens?” John asked.

“Better than before, but I’m still going to call you Laurens sometimes.”

“Maybe I’ll start calling you Laurens too.” Alex grinned, and moved a bit closer. “I love you too, I didn’t say it back a moment ago. I just want to make sure you know.”

“God, you are such a dork.”John kissed him again. “Of course I know you love me, we got married.” Alex rubs at his eyes, and yawns loudly.

“I just have to make sure sometimes.”

“Go take out your contacts before you go to sleep.”

“But, I want to curl up with you.”

“You want another eye infection?” Alex huffed a bit and got up, disappearing into the bathroom.

John got up to follow him as well, brushing his teeth as Alex searched for saline solution, and then brushed his own teeth. John rested his head on Alex’s shoulder as he waited for him to finish before they retreated back to the air mattress. Alex curled around John as he texted Eliza to make sure Frances was alright. A moment later there was a picture of the girl asleep on the couch, her hair curling around her face. Alex looked up a bit having to bring the phone inches from his face to see without his glasses. He smiled, and John plugged it into the charger and nestled back down under the blankets, Alex wrapping himself around John.

“We’re married.” He whispered in John’s ear.

“Yeah, we are, we’re married.” The word felt nice on his tongue, so he repeated it again before kissing Alex’s collar “We’re married.”

Things were changing, for them, for Frances, for everyone. Things had been changing since John met Martha that night, since Frances was left with him, since she’d gotten sick. Changing since Alex had opened his door that cold winter night, with the power out nearly everywhere else. So much had happened after that, Frances started real school, he had gotten married and was moving in with his husband, he met Martha and watched her fade, he was going back to school, Alex had gotten top surgery, he’d made friends, told his father off for his shitty parenting. Made his own family. Life was moving and shifting constantly around them, indifferent to the challenges or rewards they faced as it continued on. John didn’t care now though, because he had Alex, and he knew Frances was safe, everything was going perfectly and though life had taken him a different route than he had expected, he had people he loved and he had never been happier in his life than when he was with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end, this chapter was bittersweet to write, because I have immensely enjoyed writing this story, and everyone is really nice about it. This however does not mean that I won't be one-shots because of course I will, and if you want to see them I might be posting them on my writing tumblr oncetherelivedaboy.tumblr.com and I actually have a few things that I wanted to include in this universe but they didn't fit the timeline of this, so I'll be updating that blog as I go. As of posting this, we're at 6210 reads, which is amazing because I honestly didn't expect it to get more than 100, so seriously, thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments because they have kept me motivated and they make me feel really good about my writing. So keeping leaving comments and seriously, feel free to make requests on my tumblr, I even have anon enabled if you're feeling shy.  
> So this is the final farewell on this story, I should probably update the tags and all that now. Once again, thank you so. I love you a lot and feel free to check out my other fanfics on here. 
> 
> One more note: Theodosia's appearance is based off of Leslie Odom Jr's real life wife, Nicolette Robinson because they are just a super cute couple and she's who I head canon as for Theodosia if she were to ever appear in the play.


	26. Sequel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is simply an announcement that there will be a sequel to this story, the link is provided in the actual body of this work, I hope you enjoy. It is not quite a sequel as a companion, it will follow John and Frances and Alex, but it will include really any of the same plot and will have it's own plot and storyline to follow, it takes place about 6 months after the epilogue of this work.

<http://archiveofourown.org/works/6938197/chapters/15822613>

Hope you like it!!


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